Jack the Giant Slayer(2013) [Trailer]
Director: Byran Singer [IMDB]
"Nibble, nibble, gnaw who is nibbling at my little house?" Hansel and Gretel answered "It's not us, its Jack!" The witch confused as to what fairy tale it was said "Jack be nimble Jack be quick? Hurry up to the clouds upon those windy green sticks!" The witch, still in a state of confusion from the children's hungry collusion, to see a little clearer, decided it was time to consult her mirror. Mirror Mirror on the wall . . . could this be the worst fairy tale <dramatic pause> of them all!
Synopsis: Long ago magic beans created a windy green stalk that allowed evil giants to come pillage our lands. A great and noble king created a mind control crown to conquer the giants and send them back up the stalk which he subsequently chopped down. He had the the crown and remaining beans buried with him for all eternity until an evil would-be king dug them up to gather the giant army to lay siege upon the lands once more. Somewhere along the way an 18 year old Jack, gets tossed into the mix and has to slay the giants to save the beloved princess and all the land.
Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum Hollywood's desire to modernize childhood fairy tales is . . . quite dumb! A glutton for punishment after watching two, I should have called it and been through. With those two, Hansel &Gretel Witch Hunters (awful) and Snow White and the Huntsman (decent) that I did review, I should stopped ahead and bid adieu. Unfortunately, the WFR trifecta was needed so with this review my warning should be heeded!
Jack is a limited tale with plenty of CGI which left me to wonder why-oh-why. I should have stopped at number two but the trifecta forced this onto my queue. As I followed along with their magical trek I realized they were only in it for the paycheck!
Take my advice and save yourself time because you will likely be more entertained by these musings and rhyme.
Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum Hollywood's desire to modernize childhood fairy tales is . . . quite dumb! A glutton for punishment after watching two, I should have called it and been through. With those two, Hansel &Gretel Witch Hunters (awful) and Snow White and the Huntsman (decent) that I did review, I should stopped ahead and bid adieu. Unfortunately, the WFR trifecta was needed so with this review my warning should be heeded!
Jack is a limited tale with plenty of CGI which left me to wonder why-oh-why. I should have stopped at number two but the trifecta forced this onto my queue. As I followed along with their magical trek I realized they were only in it for the paycheck!
Take my advice and save yourself time because you will likely be more entertained by these musings and rhyme.
hahaha
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