Dark Skies

Dark Skies
(2013) [Trailer]
Director: Scott Stewart [IMDB]

I loved Paranormal Activity and thought Insidious was pretty solid, so when I heard the team responsable for those titles was releasing an alien abduction film, I was on board. I mean, who doesn't fear getting probed by ET?

Synopsis: A family is visited by beings from another world and guess what... they're not here to make friends and discuss the latest episode of Game of Thrones.

It probably wasn't the best idea to watch this movie alone in the dark late last night before bed. I almost had to get up to turn the lights on I was so creeped out. Dark Skies is very effective in ramping up the scary moments and doesn't over do it, yet steadily builds on the tension instead. They opted to use the typical alien that everyone thinks of, but the way they used them within the film seemed eerie and off putting, so it didn't bother me as much.

What did bother me were some of the plot holes and choices characters made. There were definitely some believability issues at hand, but hey, it's a horror film... what are you gonna do?

I did enjoy the ending and thought it was a little different from most films in its genre... I obviously won't spoil it for you but it's not happy.

Dark Skies is a fun arm hair raiser that's not a waste in my opinion. I'd absolutely recommend it to fans of horror.

Upstream Color

Upstream Color
(2013) [Trailer]
Director: Shane Carruth [IMDB]

Shane Carruth is known for making a little movie called Primer which I reviewed awhile back... you can read it here. It was a really interesting, albeit confusing title that left me wanting to see more from Carruth, so here is my chance.

Synopsis: Ummm let's see.... I got nothing.

Where Primer was confusing and complicated, Upstream Color is weird and obscure.... actually all those adjectives work for both films.

Warning: If you don't like artsy films that are challenging, stay the hell away from this thing, it might be one of the worst offenders out there.

That said, I still liked the film, for a few reasons. Its soundtrack is incredible and the cinematography is pretty impressive as well. The performances were all great and for being as out there as it is, I still found it very riveting.

I know there is no synopsis above, that's because it's hard to give one, but I'll try now.

I took away a few ideas from Upstream Color and I'm not sure if any of them are right, but I think that was the point of the filmmaker. It builds on this cycle of life where everything is connected, unbeknownst to the organisms and people involved... for the most part. The two leads of the film, break this cycle. The cycle is probably the most confusing part of Upstream Color. Was it a bad thing? I think yes, probably... but it could have been a metaphor for something else.

If you haven't seen the film this next paragraph may be a bit hard to follow.

I had one idea that is kind of interesting. The worms represent a religion or belief system if you will. They are implanted into these people who blindly follow it and give all their money to it. Walden represents their spiritual text (ie: the Bible or Quran) and they transcribe it and memorize it. They then break free of this worm by visiting The Sampler who moves the worms into pigs, in an almost ceremonial way. The pigs are like their former selves that The Sampler (maybe God?) uses to stay connected to them. If this sounds odd, it is, but that's the one issue with films like Upstream Color... they're so vague that they lead you to infer your own ideas into the fold. Is that a bad thing? Is it lazy film making? Who knows.

If you enjoy complex films, check it out, it doesn't get stranger than this.

Iron Man 3

Iron Man 3
(2013) [Trailer]
Director: Shane Black [IMDB]

Iron Man 3 is the first post-Avengers solo effort from Marvel and I'm sure based off the box office numbers it won't be the last. Since I've seen every other Marvel film, at some point it was unenviable that I would check this out. I really loved the first Iron Man, but wasn't too keen on the second one, now I'll see where this installments fits in.

Synopsis: Tony Stark is back and dealing with the aftermath of the attack on New York... see The Avengers for back story. Now a new menace is afoot and ready to do battle, a terrorist named The Mandarin.

I've only seen one other film from director Shane Black, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, but I get the feeling after watching Iron Man 3 that he really isn't into the whole superhero/comic book film genre. Iron Man 3 feels more like a action comedy... then about half way through you start to get to the whole Iron Man thing. Even after that, it's like the suit only comes in sporadically up until the ending. There are also some inconsistencies in the plot, especially in when Stark decides to use the suit and how he decides to use the suit. A few things he does with suit towards the end probably would have helped his situation if he implemented them earlier in the film. I also really disliked how they handled The Mandarin, I won't get into it because it treads on spoiler territory, but I thought it was really lame.

I know it sounds like a lot of negatives coming from me, but it wasn't a bad film. I did find it pretty entertaining and slightly better than the second film. There were also some funny moments and the action towards the end was fun. It's still raking in the big bucks at the theater, so check it out and help keep the Marvel machine well oiled.

Maniac

Maniac
(2013) [Trailer]
Director: Frank Khalfoun (IMDB)

Not too long ago I did a review for the original Maniac, you can read it HERE. I really enjoy William Lustig's version and consider it one of the greater slasher films out there. When I saw the trailer for this remake, I must admit, I was kind of excited… it actually looked pretty good. But trailers can be deceitful, so I figured I'd give it a run through and let you know if it's worth your hard earned time. 

Synopsis: Frodo is a psycho killer who goes around hacking off the scalps of young women.

Maniac is a solid slasher flick... and while paying homage to the original, still manages to feel like its own film. Elijah Woods, who feels completely different than Joe Spinell (the original maniac), still manages to come across as a creepy ass dude and is successful in making the character work. One thing that did bother me about his performance, while not his fault, is that it's all in the first person point of view. It started to really grade on me about 20 mins in and I think I would have liked this film a lot more if it was shot normally. 

Something that should definitely be addressed when comparing Maniacs is the setting. New York in the late 70's was gnarly and a very scary place. The original did just about as good as a job as you could ask for encapsulating that aesthetic. This remake takes place in LA in modern times and it just doesn't even come close to being as effective in my opinion.

If you're a fan of gore, there's lots to make you happy here. There were plenty of cringe worthy moments and if you have a weak stomach, I'd skip out on this. The ending is pretty dark and depressing, the way it should be. In life, there are no happy endings… get used to it people.

If you like horror, especially the slasher genre, I'd take a chance on this. I think you'd enjoy it.

Pain & Gain

Pain & Gain
(2013) [Trailer]
Director: Michael Bay (IMDB)

The Williams brothers are coming at you with a first. Dueling reviews on the same movie... on the same day. We both, along with Papi Williams, went out to the theater together to check out a flick and get in a little bonding time. There wasn't much out we could all agree on except for Michael Bay's newest flick... Pain & Gain. Michael Bay is responsible for the worst movie trilogy of all time... Transformers. After watching those God awful films you would think I would have wrote Mr. Bay off. He did manage to make The Rock and Armageddon, which I enjoyed, so I thought I'd give him another chance.

Synopsis: Based on true events, three muscle bound trainers hatch a plan to rob a rich client of all his money... things don't go according to plan.

I thought Pain & Gain was a decent enough film and entertaining for the most part. It definitely feels like a Michael Bay film... there are lots of models, fast cars, flashy camera angles, and the police look like army soliders. Also... it's set in Miami which is basically the prefect town for one of his films. The story is engrossing and feels like something you'd see in a Coen Brothers film... basically idiots getting deeper and deeper into the shit because of money. The great thing is that most of the film is true, which makes it even more interesting. Wahlberg and The Rock were both pretty good and their partner (not sure his name and I'm too lazy to look him up) was alright as well.

Some of laughs and characters fell flat for me... especially the blond english chick and the guy from Community. The movie is also long and the last 3o mins drags on.

Pain & Gain is worth it, if you're into dark comedies about crime, give it a go.

The Place Beyond the Pines

The Place Beyond the Pines
(2013) [Trailer]
Director: Derek Cianfrance [IMDB]

Derek Cianfrance cranked out one of my favorite films in 2010... Blue Valentine. So I was happy to hear he was teaming back up with Ryan Gosling (so hot right now) again for a new film. I didn't know anything about The Place Beyond the Pines going into it, I just wanted to be surprised... and boy was I.

Synopsis: A young motorcycle stunt driver's bad decisions affect his and a rookie cop's life in unforeseen ways.

The Place Beyond the Pines unfolds in a really interesting and unique way that was masterfully executed on screen by Mr. Cianfrance. This film will be pretty difficult to talk about without getting into spoilers but I'm gonna try and do my best since it's still in the theaters. The introduction of characters and where they exist within the timeline of the story keeps things fresh and makes the run time (140 mins) not seem so long. There were a few believability issues I had, but not enough to ruin the picture. The music, cinematography and locations were all perfect and helped deliver a pleasurable viewing experience.

My wife said before we watched this that she had heard it's depressing... that wouldn't surprise me after seeing Blue Valentine. The events that take place throughout A Place Beyond the Pines were somewhat of a bum out at times, but that mixed with all the other elements of the film just make great cinema. For me, the ending of this movie wasn't a downer at all, it had a "there's a light at the end of the tunnel" vibe to it.

This is an absolute recommendation from me if you're into crime dramas with a little twist to them. I loved it.

The Twilight Saga

No movie franchise out there gets more hatred than the Twilight Saga. I know, as a cinephile, one is meant to automatically despise these films... but why? Sure, I've heard the reasons, but when it comes down to it I can't say shit... you know why? I haven't seen these fucking movies. Nothing annoys me more than someone who is so steadfastly against a film they have no experience watching. In my opinion, you have no opinion on Twilight unless you've sat down and watched them. So, I decided to strap in and form my own opinion on these films. Let's see if they're really as bad as people think they are.

Twilight

(2008) [Trailer]

Director: Catherine Hardwicke [IMDB]

Synopsis: Bella goes to stay with her dad in a small Washington town where she starts to fall for a young vampire named Edward.

My first impression of this film is that... it's not that bad. Before watching it I was expecting this to be the worst piece of shit I've ever seen and it's no where near close to that (Catwoman). The acting is spotty at times and the story has a few plot holes, but nothing too damaging to the whole ride. I thought Twilight was an entertaining story and it unfolds at a respectable pace. 

The color correction in Twilight is definitely noticeable, everything is very saturated and seems unreal. The effects they used whenever someone runs super fast looked awful and almost humorous at times.   

I can see why people think this is a movie for teenage girls, but it isn't nearly as bad as the wrap it gets.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon

(2009) [Trailer]

Director: Chris Weitz [IMDB]

Synopsis: Jacob, who's more of an afterthought in the first movie, is now thrust into the spotlight as he falls in love with Bella after Edward takes off on her... ahhh young love.

This installment was a little lack luster in my opinion. It feels similar to the first chapter aesthetically, but the story is pretty boring. It's basically Kristin Stewart trying to figure out who she loves and it starts to get boring fast. Halfway through I was ready for New Moon to wrap up, but no.... it keeps going and going and takes forever to finish. In terms of traditional story telling, New Moon completely veers off course. There's no real interesting exposition, no climax, and no resolution. It's a bit of a wet noodle and gets a failing grade at the school of WFR.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
(2010) [Trailer]
Director: David Slade [IMDB]

Synopsis: Bella has to choose between the two boys and everyone braces for a conflict with a rogue group of young vampires.

Eclipse comes back with a much easier story to digest and I'd say it's the strongest of the series so far, but not by a lot. The lead up and execution of the battle gives you something to look forward too, it also breaks up the romance which is what the last movie needed.

Jacob is always shirtless in Eclipse and it's hilarious. Why? I mean I know the guy is ripped but seriously it starts to become really ridiculous. His wolf pack doesn't wear shirts, I'm assuming because they turn into wolves and don't want to ruin a good shirt, but what about their cut off jean shorts?

 

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1

(2011) [Trailer]

Director: Bill Condon [IMDB]

Synopsis: Bella and Edward tie the knot... finally. After their honeymoon Bella finds out she's preggers... but things don't go according to plan.

This film was overly stale and a yawn-fest. It, like New Moon, doesn't go anywhere interesting. The first half of Part 1 is basically Bella and Edward getting married and going on a honeymoon. Sure, they finally bone and for many people invested heavily into their romance it was probably a big deal... I could have cared less honestly. It's slightly better than New Moon because it doesn't feel as long, but that's about it. 

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 

(2011) [Trailer]

Director: Bill Condon [IMDB]

Synopsis: Bella and Edward finally have their child and in order to deliver it... spoiler... Bella finally turns and becomes a vampire.

First things first... the CG baby. What in the actual fuck... they couldn't find a normal baby? They had to CG a baby face? It's creepy as shit and extremely distracting.

This slice of Twilight injects a ton of new characters without giving you any real knowledge of who they are or why they are important... only that they're there to help the Cullens battle against the Volturi (the vampires who run shit.) The lead up to the final battle is alright, but the outcome of the fight is a little lame. Jacob becomes a glorified babysitter, guess he got the short end of the stick. Part 2 wraps up the saga in a decent way, but still left me feeling a little underwhelmed.

The Twilight Saga is ok. Nothing great. Nothing offensive... well maybe a few little things. Overall I wasn't too bent out of shape running through these films. I can say the Transformers Trilogy (Saga) was way more shitty than Twilight. Fucking Michael Bay.