Rock of Ages

Rock of Ages
(2012) [Trailer]
Director: Adam Shankman [IMDB]

Check this video out real quick... did you watch it? How bad ass is that intro? I love Game of Thrones and it's back in full swing as of last night. You may be asking yourself "What the hell does this have to do with Rock of Ages?" Well... last night after I finished up with the season premier of Game of Thrones, HBO decided to throw on Rock of Ages. I was taking care of a few things online (porn) when I looked up and realized it was on. It was late and I was ready for bed... but it was like a train wreck in front of me and I couldn't turn away.

Synopsis: A musical that uses every 80's hair metal song ever, set to the story of the undeniable love of a hick girl and a rockinroller.

Man... this movie was really bad.... like, extremely bad. It's actually somewhat hard to put into words. You ever see something that's so cringe worthy and awful, that you're almost embarrassed to be watching it? That's this movie. Tom Cruise, who I'm normally a fan of, is so cheesy in this. If I could, I would have gone through the screen and punched Russell Brand in the face... that guy is the worst.

I guess there are people out there who love this kind of stuff, but I'm not one of them. I will give this film some credit, I watched a little over half of it before I couldn't take it anymore. I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT! NO... I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT... I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT... ANYMOREEEEE!  (click link to further bad joke)

Room 237

Room 237
(2012) [Trailer]
Director: Rodney Ascher [IMDB]

I consider The Shining one of the greatest horror films of all time. Not too long ago I reviewed it, which you can read HERE. The reason I actually decided to rewatch it in October was because I saw the trailer for this documentary and it peaked my interest. I finally got the chance to check it out... now I will pass along my knowledge to you... the reader... enjoy.

Synopsis: There are a lot of people out there who have a lot of theories behind the "real" meaning of The Shining... Room 237 explores those theories.

Room 237 is a compelling doc and for a fan of The Shining, it's interesting to see a lot of the hidden messages that people have picked up on. The one big problem for me was the "messages" or secret meanings don't really add up to anything significant. They are certainly entertaining, but open for extreme criticism. You know those conspiracy guys like Alex Jones... imagine that dude was a huge Kubrick fan and also went to film school, those are the kind of people you have in Room 236. Don't get me wrong, it's fascinating, I just don't think most of it holds any weight.

One other problem I have with this documentary is its construction. It feels a bit cheap and unprofessional. Almost like some dudes with iMovie got a bunch of Kubrick clips and threw this together.

There's a few really awesome moments in Room 237. I really dug the imagery they got when the film was ran backwards and forwards at the same time. I also enjoyed a lot of irregularities they found throughout the film.

If you're a fan of The Shining, I recommend this. It opened wide this week so you should be able to find it near by.

The Beastmaster

The Beastmaster
(1982) [Trailer]
Director: Don Coscarelli [IMDB]

Chances are if you grew up in the 80's and had HBO, you probably saw Beastmaster at one point or another. I thought back then that it was one of the scariest films ever made. You got little kids being thrown into fire pits, creepy witch ladies with butter faces, weird bird people who turned you into human soup, and the green earwigs which turned you into a raging S&M monster... to a six year old... that's some terrifying shit. It has been a film I've been waiting to come to blu-ray, but that doesn't look like it's gonna happen anytime soon, so I just watched a shitty downloaded copy because I'm tired of waiting... I'm ready for a little Beastmaster in my life.

Synopsis: Marc Singer (aka Mark Hamill part two) is a warrior who can communicate with animals. When his village is destroyed he seeks to enact revenge on the guilty.

Beastmaster is still pretty fun and it was nice to revisit it after all this time. It's still dark and the effects hold up surprisingly well... what doesn't hold up is the acting. Marc Singer is pretty brutal and Tanya Roberts isn't much better. It's Beastmaster... I'm not really excepting Daniel Day-Lewis quality acting, so I guess I wasn't too bothered by it.

The ending seemed really dragged out. First you have the confrontation with Rip Torn (the evil preist) and then the enemy hord from the beginning return to slug it out. I think they should have just ran with one senario.

If you're into the whole sword & sandals genre and you haven't seen The Beastmaster... you should do so right away. If you're not, you could probably live out the rest of your days and be content without it in your life.

The Sound of Music

The Sound of Music
(1965) [Trailer]
Director: Robert Wise [IMDB]

The Sound of Music is considered a classic and many say it's one of the greatest musicals of all time. While I had vague memories of watching it as a child, I figured I'd buy the newly restored blu-ray and see if it holds up... that and my wife wanted it.

Synopsis: A nun leaves the church and helps raise the family of an Austrian naval captain.

You may remember my review of Les Mis a few months back and think I hate musicals... that is not the case... I just hated that musical. Truth be told, I'm just not really into that genre, but it doesn't mean I'm not willing to give one a chance. The Sound of Music is a decent film and fairly entertaining. The tunes are all pretty memorable, as was evident when my wife sang along to each of them. It's also a nice romance that throws in a little danger in towards the end.

The transfer to blu-ray looks insane. The hills were alive with more than music... they were alive with 1080p.

Spring Breakers

Spring Breakers
(2013) [Trailer]
Director: Harmony Korine [IMDB]

In a Williams Film Review first, I am bringing you not only a review of Harmony Korine's newest film Spring Breakers, but I am also providing you with some original artwork. Yes... that beautiful poster over there on the left was designed by yours truly... me... Curtis Williams.

Synopsis: 4 misguided teens set off to Florida for spring break and get into some shit.

I was highly anticipating the release of Spring Breakers. Harmony Korine's films are highly polarizing... I remember watching Gummo for the first time and thinking it was awful... but I also kind of liked it.

Spring Breakers is a bloated look at the fucked up society we live in. These are strange times and they call for an even stranger movie. I think Harmony likes to push your buttons and with this film he takes it over the top, but in an accessible way... as opposed to Trash Humpers. The characters are empty and shallow... I couldn't relate to anyone, but that worked for me. I think that's part of the message. I mean honestly... to think you're going to go to spring break in Florida and have a life changing experience is a joke in itself. Korine takes something nauseating (spring break in Florida) and plays with it in an artful way which I absolutely enjoyed.

Spring Breakers has a few really surprising moments, some funny, some raunchy.... mostly involving James Franco (who plays a very convincing shitbag.) It revisits some of the themes seen in Kids, but also had a quasi True Romance vibe to it. If you're familier with Harmony Korine's work, you'll probably dig it, but if you're easily offended I'd skip it.... but then... you should get over yourself and live a little... I'm just saying.

Patton

Patton
(1970) [Trailer]
Director: Franklin J. Schaffner [IMDB]

I made a blind buy on Patton a few months back and still, to this day, have yet to watch it. So guess what? Today is the day.

Synopsis: A biopic on the controversial WWII general.

Patton is a damn fine movie... damn fine. It's as close to a prefect biopic as you're going to get. At first glance, the run time may look a little excessive, but it's like vortex that keeps moving along and you barely even notice. Right from that iconic opening speech I was hooked in and ready.

Patton is sucessful for me on a few different levels...

One: George C. Scott. Dude owns the role.
Two: The score. Jerry Goldsmith is a master craftsman.
Three: The cinematography looks unreal on blu-ray, the larger the screen... the better.
Four: This dog.
Five: All the battle scenes filmed in the snow.

Patton cleaned up at the Oscars and for good reason. If you're into war films or bios, peep it.

Wreck-It Ralph

Wreck-It Ralph
(2012) [Trailer]
Director: Rich Moore [IMDB]

The authors here at Williams Film Review can write a pretty solid analysis of a movie. There's something else we're good at and that's kicking ass at Street Fighter II. As a matter of fact, Steve is a certified SFII champion with a winner's T shirt and everything. After 15 min of Wreck-It Ralph one thing was clear, the film definitely panders to the Street Fighter masters like my brother and I, but also to all the gamer nerds out there.

Synopsis: A video game bad guy longs to change his ways and becomes a hero.

This film was pretty bland for me. I'll admit, as a fan of classic games, it was cool to see a lot of those characters on the big screen, but it wasn't enough to win me over. Wreck-It Ralph is a lighthearted film, but it starts to get stale after awhile and I found myself losing interest towards the last 40 mins of it. When compared to other Disney Pixar titles (to clarify, this is not Pixar), it falls completely short, especially in the graphics department. It also doesn't have a lot of laugh, actually I don't think I laughed much at all.

It's not a total waste, if you're into animation and video games, it's okay. Or if you have kids, I would imagine it'd be good to shut them up and give you a little me time. However, I wouldn't go out of my way to watch it.