Dark Shadows

Dark Shadows
(2012) [Trailer]
Director: Tim Burton (IMDB)

I'm down in Virginia visiting my parents and a bunch of new born babies that have been dragged into my family tree. While out with the old man today we decided to check out Tim Burton's newest installment to his repertoire... Dark Shadows

Synopsis: Johnny Depp stars (which is strange for a Tim Burton film) as Barnabas Collins, who's a vampire from the 18th century set loose into the 1970's.

I always enjoy Burton's work and was highly anticipating this movie. It pretty much delivers exactly what you would except from it. Quirky characters, a dark and creepy aesthetic, and brilliant compositions by Danny Elfman. I was pretty entertained by the whole thing but I felt it was misfiring somewhere. I think it tended to be flat in certain spots and the plot dragged it's tale a bit. There were a few funny moments but the dialog seemed weak at points. I think the main issue I had with this film was the trailer for it. I feel like it ruined the experience for me, it presented too much of the movie and as a result I felt like the film was a garment I had already worn.

I'd say, if you're really into Tim Burton, check it out, if not, wait for the baby blu.

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol
(2011) [Trailer]
Director: Brad Bird (IMDB)

I was lucky enough to win a copy of this film from a contest held over at one of my favorite websites/podcast ever... FilmJunk.com.
I never had a chance to check MI4 out last year and have been looking forward to seeing the Cruiser in action.

Synopsis: Secret Agent Ethan Hunt is back on assignment after his organization is framed in the bombing of the Kremlin and he has to clear their name.

Memory is a bitch and as I get older I feel myself losing it more and more. Movies have to be real interesting to leave an impact on me nowadays and MI4 missed the mark in a lot of ways.

Tom and Co. were all solid and got the job done. The action was well paced, and set pieces and film locations were all interesting. Obviously the scenes with Cruise climbing on the side of the Burj Khalifa are incredible.

But after viewing this a can say... not a lot of it stuck with me and I also found it a bit long. When the dust storm settles in Dubai I thought the film was gonna wrap up but then it continued on too.... see this is what I mean, I'm sitting here writing this review and I can't even remember what happened after Dubai, I actually had to go to IMDB and look it up for a refresher.

The Avengers

The Avengers
(2012) [Trailer]
Director: Joss Whedon (IMDB)

You might be reading this and thinking... wait didn't I see a review about The Avengers on here already... and you would be right. My brother Steve posted his review a few days ago and you can read it right HERE, but I didn't sit through hours of Marvel movies in culmination for this film, not to write a review... so here's my take on the block bustin beast known as The Avengers.

Synopsis: Don't you already know by now?

Where to start... don't believe the hype, this movie is SHIT!

I kid... It was pretty good.

First the bad. I think it has some serious pacing issues. It starts very slow and I found it a bit boring for the first 30 to 40 minutes, then when the first main battle takes place on the air ship it starts to get good. There's another lull in action then it pick back up towards the end. I also found the plot a little stale and not very complex, which in a way I don't mind for this kind of movie.

Now the good. I did enjoy the dialog a lot and found the chemistry between all the characters to be genuine. I thought the action scenes were top notch and well executed. Joss Whedon did a great job weaving in all the heroes in a way that gave them all they're own spot light. Out of all the Hulks, Mark Ruffalo is the best, hopefully they'll keep him. I want some chicken shawarma.

I think this film does a good job at delivering a fun time at the movies. You get a pop corn and a soda, sit back and blank out... isn't that what we all want, just to turn it all off... the weight of this wretched life... sucking anything I have of a soul left out of me... TURN IT OFF, TURN IT OFF!!!

Phantasm & Phantasm II

I've heard a lot of great things about these films but never had the chance to actually check them out. I know the first one is considered a masterpiece in horror by many... now I will tell you if that's true or completely horse shit.

Phantasm
(1979) [Trailer]
Director: Don Coscarelli (IMDB)

Synopsis: A guy named Tall Man, no... not me... another guy, is robbing graves and using the dead for devious proposes.

This film was fantastic and a nice slice of late 70's horror. It's overly creepy and has a Lynchian vibe at times, especially the scenes in the cemetery house and the overall bizarre feeling I got while watching this. The storyline is a little less straight forward than most horror films of it's time and there's a lot of foreshadowing, which is pretty cool. It leaves you with a good amount of questions throughout and at the end of the film, but nothing that spoils the experience, if anything it enhances it. The score is memorably haunting and is up there with some of the best Carpenter scores. There's not a lot I dislike about this, I guess some of the acting could be better. I would really recommend this if you haven't seen it.

Phantasm II
(1988) [Trailer]
Director: Don Coscarelli (IMDB)

Synopsis: The protagonists from part 1 set out to hunt down the Tall Man.

This installment is more successful in terms of effects compared to part one, but mostly everything else fails to compare. I didn't hate this, but I'm not completely sold on it. I actually like a lot of the cinematography, which has a Sam Raimi feel to it at times. It's not as strong story wise, and a little less creepy. I know the director Don Coscarelli had to make a lot of concessions with Universal, including adding a love interest and getting rid of some of the original cast. I think the new additions don't hurt the film, but they don't heighten the film either. There's also some pacing issues and I felt like the middle of the film was a little boring. I would still recommend this if you're in the mood for a good 80's horror.

Tombstone

Tombstone
(1993) [Trailer]
Director: George P. Cosmatos (IMDB)

Tombstone is a classic example of despite everything being wrong in the production, by some miracle, the movie Gods, happy accidents or whatever, everything turns out alright. REALLY alright. It was plagued from the git go with delays, script problems, and budgetary problems. But under the strong pimp hand of Snake Pliskin AKA Kurt Russell, the movie got back on track. Kurt's leadership and selflessness, even cutting his own scenes to give his fellow actors more screen time, turned what could have been an epic disaster into an epic popcorn movie.

And the great performaces didn’t hurt. Kurt Russell as Wyatt, and Sam Elliot and Bill Paxton as Virgil and Morgan are our hero Earp brothers.

Set in Tombstone, Arizona, the story is about famous sheriff and lawman, Wyatt Earp and his brothers. Wyatt, who is searching for a life of peace, ultimately has no choice, but to rid the town of the scoundrels named The Cowboys who pretty much do whatever they want. Like killing people. And being drunk annoying buffoons. Great performances by Powers Booth, who leads the Cowboys, and Michael Biehn as Johnny Ringo are vital to the effectiveness of the film.

And then there's Val. Val Kilmer. Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday stole every scene he was in and delivers some of the most classic lines in movie history. Rarely has anyone, in a supporting role, made such an impact on the enjoyment of a film. Doc Holliday is as loyal to Wyatt as any character could be to another. He would do anything for him. Including kill or die. If you needed someone to go into battle with, Doc Holliday is your huckleberry.

The movie builds and builds. After attempts at living a peaceful life are unsuccessful, the Earp brothers have no choice but to confront the Cowboys at the legendary gunfight at the O.K. Corral. Great direction, cinematography, and editing build the drama and tension and make this a tremendously entertaining scene in an already entertaining movie. 

This scene leads into the Cowboys taking revenge which leads into Wyatt going postal. Hell is coming with him.

The movie's third act is a tremendously joyful and entertaining ride. Tombstone is about brotherhood, whether by blood or love, and doing the right thing no matter what you may risk in the process.

If you haven't seen this yet, see it. Unless you don't like entertaining films.

Thank you.

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie
(1987) [Trailer]
Director: Rod Amateau (IMDB)

I remember this movie kinda sucking as a kid but I thought, screw it... let's give it another try. This was not one of my best ideas.

Synopsis: I think you can figure it out.

This movie is brutal. The only decent actor is the magician guy and even he's not that great. I'm just gonna make a list of things that are wrong with this film.

Shit List: [Spoilers... if you're really worried about that]

1. The whole plot of this movie is focused on the magician and the boy trying to figure out how to get the Garbage Pail Kids to return to the garbage can. Yet in the very beginning of the film the magician simply orders the Kids back into the can after he hears them running around in the magic shop late at night. If it's that easy, just tell them to get back in the can.

2. Why do the kids have to go back in the can? The magician says "trust me, It's like opening Pandora's Box", but after the Kids are out, they don't seem to be a big problem, if anything they're useful.   

3. The puppet designs of the kids are awful. Their eyes are always stuck in one position and make them look creepy, but not in a good way.

4. The 14 year old kid is taking a bath with his 50 year old boss watching over him (not to mention the GPK too)... that's pretty normal.

5. Why are 25 year old's shaking down a 14 year old for 5 dollars?

6.  You obviously have to suspend disbelief for this film, but a Home for the Ugly? Come on. After these ugly people are locked up, who decides how long... are they given legal consultation? You're telling me in this world they live in, you can be walking down the road and get accosted by men with nets for being too weird! I think there are bigger problems than returning a group freaky kids to a garbage can going on in this movie.

The only cool thing about the film is THIS PAINTING from the movie 'Troll'.

Valhalla Rising

Valhalla Rising
(2009) [Trailer]
Director: Nicolas Winding Refn (IMDB)

I joined this site called Letterboxd. It's kinda like facebook for movie nerds. I was recently recommended Valhalla Rising after a user checked out my lists and thought I would dig it. I was told by him that "It's like David Lynch and Terrence Malick took acid and made a viking movie." I thought that was a pretty convincing description so I checked it out.

Synopsis: A norse warrior named One Eye heads out on a quest to travel to the holy land with some Christians.

I really loved this film and I'd say it's right up Curtis alley. What's Curtis alley you ask... It's an alley where you take psychedelic drugs and try and contemplate the meaning of life... I'm kidding.

This film is out there and very loose in terms of plot... basically it's open for interpretation. It's reminds me a lot of some of my favorite films, a nice mash-up maybe would be Aquirre: Wrath of God, meets Dead Man, meets The New World, meets Apocalypse Now. The cinematography is stunning and the score is exceptional with a lot of creepy build ups. Nicholas Winding Refn delivers another pleaser in my opinion, definitely check this out (if you're into non-traditional stuff), it's on Netflix instant.