Battleship
(2012) [Trailer]
Director: Peter Berg [IMDB]
I was debating whether or not I was going to review this film. My brother reviewed it a while back. I felt since it'd already been represented on the site and I'm a lazy bastard... then screw it... it doesn't need another review. But alas, I mustered up the strength to belt out a few words on this monstrosity... so here we go.
Synopsis: A board game meets space aliens starring Rihanna.
Man.... where to start with this. I knew before going into Battleship that it was going to be bad, but I didn't release how laughably bad it was. It's really cheesy and felt like a commercial for the Navy most of the time you're watching it. To say there are plot holes would be an understatement. For example, aliens have the technology to travel hundreds of lightyears to our planet but they don't have the ability to send an email back home without using our satellites? The characters are all surface level and don't have any real depth, but it's a popcorn blockbuster, so I guess we give it a pass in that department. The scientist is one of the biggest morons out there.... they actually wrote a part into this where he sees a guy with prosthetic legs and thinks he's an alien? Really, you're a college graduated scientist and you've never seen a guy with prosthetic legs?
Battleship wasn't a total waste. I sat through the 2+ hour run time and was entertained, so it has got that going for it. There's also a pretty cool montage of them prepping the battleship for the final fight, which I thought was alright. Maybe if you're really bored on a Sunday afternoon, give it a go, but don't try too hard to track it down.
