Modern Times

Modern Times
(1936)
Director: Charles Chaplin (IMDB)

I've never seen a Charlie Chaplin film, and to be honest, before watching The Artist a few weeks ago, I had only seen two other silent films before (Metropolis and Nosferatu.) This is considered by many to be the best movie Chaplin made, and It was also his last silent film. It was essentially a middle finger to the changing times and the fact that he could have made this a "talkie" but decided not to was the first form of punk. Not really, but I would like to believe it was, so fuck you Sex Pistols.

Chaplin is a down and out factory worker trying to make it in the rapidly changing industrialized world of the 1930's. The depression is in full swing and many people still don't have work. He quickly loses his job and finds himself in and out of trouble while trying to keep his shit together. He falls for a young orphan, who he saves from the police, after she's caught stealing bread (kinda like that Temple of the Dog song.) They work odd jobs for a bit, buy a shitty run down shack, and end up walking off together into the sunset.

This movie is very interesting and I enjoyed it a lot, especially the physical comedy of Chaplin. You take for granted how easy it is to make someone laugh by telling a joke, but to do so with no words is an art and one that Chaplin mastered. There's a lot of interesting set pieces, some that stood out were: Chaplin lost inside the machine, Chaplin roller skating blind near the edge of a ledge, and the inside of their shack. The score was really cool and the use of sound effects were well timed. I would recommend if you haven't seen a silent film, start here. If you have, see this anyways.

The Thing vs The Thing

I love John Carpenter, he's up there as one of my all time favorite directors, and definitely my favorite Horror director. I also love The Thing, and when I found out they were remaking it... I was PISSED!!!! Not really, they remake all his shit, so I wasn't surprised. I finally got to watch the remake/prequel last night for the first time and in doing so, went right into watching the original again for a verses battle!

The Thing

(2011) [Trailer]
Director: Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. (IMDB)

I figured I'd start with the remake, since technically I watched it first, and It's actually a prequel to the original 1982 film. I'm actually really glad I watched them back to back and I would recommend you do the same.

This film takes place days before the original and centers around the Norwegian team that originally dug up the alien. They discover an alien ship and a frozen critter which prompts them to call upon the help of a couple of American scientists. They soon realize the alien isn't friendly and the death toll starts to rise.

I was really pleased with this movie. I thought I was going to tear it apart, but honestly, it's very solid. Especially a lot of the set pieces and call backs to the original. They did a great job recreating everything based off the little amount of time they spent at the Norwegian base in the first film. The effects were good, but there was some CGI that wasn't amazing. I would say the Achilles heel of this movie would be the characters. I found the original crew to be really interesting and varied, this new crew wasn't. I mean you have Kurt Russell with the sweetest beard in film history vs Mary Elisabeth Winstead... you're always gonna go with the Russell. Overall it's pretty successful and flows right into the original with ease, which I was really happy about.

The Thing

(1982) [Trailer]
Director: John Carpenter (IMDB)

So if you haven't seen this film, I feel bad for you, go get on it and stop reading this. The Thing is a loose remake on Howard Hawks' film The Thing from Another World, which is a really cool B movie from the 50's. Carpenter basically took Howard's original idea and remade a masterpiece in modern horror.

An alien ship crash lands in Antarctica, the alien freezes, then is thawed out by some Norwegians... which it kills. A sole husky escapes carrying the alien life form to a new snow base filled with Kurt Russel, Wilford Brimley, and a bunch of other awesomely grizzled dudes. The alien has the uncanny ability to eat you, then turn into you. The crew realize they're in deep shit and start to fight for their lives.

Every time I watch this movie I love it more and more. The direction is superb and flawless in my opinion. I love the way Carpenter builds the suspense of this story, it's like a pressure cooker building up a fine roast. His use of blue and red lights against the all white canvas of the Antarctic is really unique and the score (which Carpenter wrote) is chilling and suits the overall tone perfectly. Kurt Russell is badass, and all the other players are great. The practical effects are alittle dated, but look awesome, I miss stuff like that in horror. I'd recommend you pick up the blu-ray and check this out, it's probably one of the best transfers I've seen.

The Happening

The Happening
(2008) [Trailer]
Director: M. Night Shyamalan (IMDB)

I decided to throw this on last night when I saw it was available for free in movies on demand. I think M Night is okay and have enjoyed most of the films I've seen from him... until tonight.

The Happening is an outbreak flick starring Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel. People basically start losing their minds and killing themselves in Central Park one day. Immediately it's believed to be terrorist related and that there is some sort of airborne particle causing the madness... until it starts to spread. No one is sure what to do so they run for the country but it follows them.

God this movie is a piece of shit. It's so sloppy and unbelievable, especially the way everyone reacts to what's 'happening' (see how I threw that in there.) The acting is really awful across the board. I normally like Wahlberg, but he is brutal in this and I felt like everyone else was so dry and emotionless. The worst though, is the story. I could have crapped out this script in a few weeks. There's no real answer to what is going, just that it's nature and can't be explained. It could possibly be because man is evil, or the bees disappearing, or the trees are mad at us. Who knows, who cares. LAME.

Touching the Void

Touching the Void

(2003) [Trailer]
Director: Kevin Macdonald (IMDB)

After reading the novel 'Into Thin Air' a few years ago I decided I'd never attempt to climb a mountain, it just doesn't seem like a very sound idea. After watching Touching the Void my decision has only been reinforced.

Touching the Void is the harrowing tale of Simon Yates and Jim Simpson's mountain climbing expedition gone a rye. Joe breaks his leg while descending down from a summit in the Andes. Simon tries to help him down and basically everything goes to shit. Joe ends up sliding off a cliff and hanging by a rope that is tied to Simon. Simon soon realizes he will fall off the cliff if he doesn't cut the line. So... he cuts the line, sending Joe down into a crevasse. From there he has to make it out alive... on his own... in the snow and ice... with a bum leg... Good times.

The style of this documentary reminds me of The Thin Blue Line, it's mostly reenactments and the interviewees face the camera straight on. It's beautifully filmed and extremely entertaining. The story is INSANE... people... please stop trying to climb these gigantic ass mountain ranges, nature doesn't give a crap about you and you will die.

50/50

50/50
(2011) [Trailer]
Director: Jonathan Levine (IMDB)

This is another movie that I really wanted to check out last year but never got around to it. I think cancer is pretty hilarious so I knew it'd be a good time. Just kidding, I hate cancer and I'm paranoid about getting it, so I did have some reservations about watching this and getting bummed out.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt has the cancer and Seth Rogan is trying to be a good friend and help him through the tough times. It's pretty high concept and that's the movie in a nut shell.

I thought 50/50 was a pretty decent flick. Nothing ground breaking but I was entertained. I did find it extremely predictable and I had some believability issues with both the doctor and the therapist. It made my wife cry a lot, so it's got that going for it. I'll close with this, I believe Seth Rogan saved this movie for me, had it been any other actor, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed this as much.

Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice
(1988) [Trailer]
Director: Tim Burton (IMDB)

I have seen this movie too many times to count. I've owned it on every format... blu-ray, DVD, and VHS (sorry, I never had a laser disc player.) I have a good deal of it memorized, so as I'm sure you can tell, my review will be favorable.

Betelegeuse is a star in the Orion constellation and is considered a Red Supergiant. It shines bright in the night sky... Beetlejuice is a movie starring Michael Keaton, and directed by Tim Burton. Beetlejuice involves a couple of recently diseased ghosts... I mean recently deceased ghosts who are trying to rid their house of new tenants after their passing. The new tenants are yuppies from NYC and aren't falling for their ghost bullshit. So the ghosts call upon Beetlejuice, a bio-exorist, to help move out the new house guests.

Tim Burton's masterpiece encompasses everything I love about movies. The art direction, set pieces, and practical effects are amazing. The story is weird and interesting. Keaton's performance as Beetlejuice is awesome, dare I say the best thing he's ever done. Let's not forget, Danny Elfman's score is so rad, I couldn't imagine any other music accompanying this film. Beetlejuice is a real good time and still holds up just as much as my first viewing.

Extract

Extract

(2009) [Trailer]
Director: Mike Judge (IMDB)

Mike Judge is a pretty cool guy and he's made some fun movies. I really enjoyed Idiocracy and I thought Office Space was hilarious. So I figured I'd be in good shape when it came to my recent viewing of Extract... boy was I wrong.

Extract centers around a factory that bottles extract for baking and cooking. Exciting right? Jason Bateman plays a sexually frustrated boss who's very unhappy with his marriage. His friend (Ben Afflick) talks him into hiring a gigolo to try and set his wife up to cheat on him. Their theory is that if she takes the bait and bangs the male whore, it'll give Bateman carte blanche to hook up with Mila Kunis, who was recently hired to work at the factory. There's a few other sub plots, but really, it's not that important.

This movie was boring. It did hold my attention and there were a few funny moments, but overall, it was pretty forgetful. The way Bateman reacts to things isn't very realistic, but I guess it's a movie so it gets a pass? Who knows. Whatever. I would take a pass on this... there's definitely better movies out there.

Hard Boiled

Hard Boiled
(1992) [Trailer]
Director: John Woo (IMDB)

A lot of fucking people die in this movie. A LOT! So many, that half way through it, I had to pause it and look up the official body count. It's 307. How's that for a good time?

Hard Boiled is about a cop named Tequila... already you should be saying to yourself "I want to see this movie." Anyways, Tequila goes off the rails when his partner is murder by some gangsters. Tequila starts to hunt down the gangsters and soon finds out one of them isn't who him seems. Hong Kong Police planted a mole in the gang and he soon teams up with Tequila to kick some major ass.

This is the third John Woo film I've seen and definitely the best. The action scenes in this movie are unreal. It's insane to watch all these guys getting blown to shit and not think they were somehow getting hurt in real life. I wonder in China if they're more laxed about safety laws, because a lot of what I saw seems extremely dangerous... and awesome. The story can get a little weak at times and there were a few moments where it seemed to drag it's tail a bit, but I guess you could compare that to how a junkie feels in between his fixes. Maybe all of that is really awesome and I'm just too high off the action to notice, or maybe not. Find out for yourself.

The Remains of the Day

The Remains of the Day
(1993) [Trailer]
Director: James Ivory (IMDB)

We're all rats stuck on a exercise wheel, continually running around and around. Day in, day out, working ourselves to the bone. The working man is a sucker and a slave to the grind. Some of us are locked into this cycle more than others, as is the case of Mr. Stevens.

Mr. Stevens (Sir Anthony Hopkins) is a butler to a very wealthy Englishman in post WWI Britain. He keeps himself completely occupied by running the Lord's mansion and ridiculously large staff of servants. The Lord is also a Nazi sympathizer and he's helping the Germans ease their way back into the world stage after getting their asses handed to them in the first war. Sir Anthony hires on a head maid (Emma Thompson) and over time starts to develop feelings for her. I won't get too into the story as it is involved but trust me, you should watch it.

This movie is a great example of missed opportunity. It's an interesting character study on a man who puts work so highly above all that he loses out on everything else in life. He barely has a moment to himself and when love comes knocking at his door, he doesn't even take the chance to make it happen. What's even worse is the Lord that Mr. Stevens served ended up being a tool and his allegiance to him, cost his life (not literally but figuratively.) The whole movie you want Mr. Stevens to bust a move and change, but in the end he remains what he is, a slave to the man.

This movie was nominated for 8 academy awards and it's easy to see why. The cinematography is beautiful. There's one scene where Mr. Steven's car is dying on the road in the middle of the country during sunset, it's one of the most amazing shots I've seen in cinema in awhile. The score is phenomenal, it's very classic with hints of darkness spread throughout it. Lastly, the performances are great. Sir Anthony is so awesome and extremely believable as a butler, as well as Emma Thompson, who serves up a stellar performance which will linger with you... Superman was decent too.

Definitely recommended.

The Toy Story Trilogy

The Toy Story franchise is really genius. It's up there with Star Wars when it comes to merchandising and overall profit. Does that mean they're any good? Of course, cash rules everything around me. When I first saw Toy Story in the 90's I was blown away by the animation. It was the first Pixar full length, it was all CG, and opened the door for the onslaught of CG films to follow.

Toy Story
(1995) [Trailer]
Director: John Lasseter (IMDB)

Toy Story is about what really happens when you're not home. Toys come to life and do crazy shit. All in toy world is awesome until a new toy, Buzz Light Year, shows up. The leader and most played with toy, Woody, gets mad when Buzz starts stealing his playtime away from Andy (the child.) Woody tries to get Buzz out of the picture but his plan back fire, which sends the two toys on a wild ride.

As I said before, the animation blew my mind back in the 90's, and it still does. This looks sooooo good on Disney blu-ray and makes me feel like I'm seeing it for the first time again. There's honestly nothing I would change about this movie.




Toy Story 2
(1999) [Trailer]
Director: John Lasseter (IMDB)

This time around all the toys are buddy buddy, and all seems well. Andy's mother decide to have a yard sale and Woody accidentally finds himself for sale. Just so happens a toy collector shows up and steals Woody....Newman! Turns out Woody is rare and worth a ton of Japanese yen. The rest of the toys head out to save Woody.

This movie is pretty much just as good as the first. It looses just a little bit because I feel the story isn't as good as the first. The animation is still mind blowing, especially the intro scene on Zorg's planet. I love all the little references to Star Wars, and even Jurassic Park. Definitely a lot of fun and well deserved in any collection.




Toy Story 3
(2010) [Trailer]
Director: Lee Unkrich (IMDB)

The final chapter finds Andy ready to rage and tear shit up at college. Baby's all grown up and done with his toy playing days. Through a series of events the toys find themselves as hand me downs to the local daycare. At first everything seems amazing and the toys think they've hit the jackpot, but the daycare isn't all that it seems.

Part 3 is the best of the trilogy in my book. It's definitely the funniest. It looks the best, especially the humans. Andy isn't as weird looking as he was in the first movie. The plot is awesome, this is basically an animated prison break flick, and it rules.

All three installments are great and a real fun time. Disney, thank you. Keep the hits coming.

The Edge

The Edge
(1997) [Trailer]
Director: Lee Tamahori (IMDB)

I had never heard of this film and really knew nothing about it before watching it last night. My friend Michael insisted I check it out and I respect his opinion on a lot of stuff (but definitely not his opinion on foreign films, sorry Mike.) It's available on Netflix instant (God bless you Netflix) so I went ahead with the viewing.

The Edge stars Sir Anthony Hopkins, Alec Baldwin, Michael from LOST and some washed up supermodel. It's set in an extremely remote location in Canada (like you have to fly in on a sea plane remote.) Sir Anthony, who is a billionaire, brings his model wife and a photography crew in for a little R&R at a Cabin on a lake. They set up a little photo shoot, you know, to take advantage of the beautiful surroundings. Things go wrong when they are out scouting for a native model (an Indian) for the shoot and their sea plane hits the deck. Sir Anthony, Alec and Michael from LOST have to survive in the wilderness after the crash... but... they have company. That company... a blood thirsty grizzly bear. Fuck.

I love a survival flick and this is a good one. This movie doesn't take long to get going and when it does it's pretty suspenseful. Alec and Sir Anthony do a good job on camera and also develop some pretty sweet beards. The cinematography is insane and I don't know if it has much to do with the cinematographer. If you just turned on the camera, the location itself would do the rest of the work. Regardless, the film looks incredible. I do have a few issues with the ending but I don't want to spoil anything. If you have Netflix instant go ahead and give this a spin, good stuff.