All Things Planet of the Apes (aka Planet of the Apes Marathon)

I'm a big fan of the original Planet of the Apes film and have seen it a few times now. I recently picked up the box set which includes the 4 other movies from the 1970's, which I haven't seen. I will now go through those and the rest of the franchise including the 2001 reboot and Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Basically every damned dirty ape film ever made. Giddy up.

Planet of the Apes

(1968) [Trailer]

Director: Franklin J. Schaffner [IMDB]

Synopsis: A team of astronauts crash land on a planet filled with... monkeys? Ok, they would be pissed if they heard me say said... filled with Apes.

This is a classic film and one I enjoy watching. I feel like each time I dig into it, it gets better and better. This time around was no different. For a sci-fi film from the 60's it actually holds up really well, maybe because they don't have to rely on special effects as much because of the setting. The costumes of the apes, while dated, still are effective and the set pieces are amazing... especially the ape city. On top of that, the cinematography and locations they decided to shoot in all look fantastic as well. The score by Jerry Goldsmith is a monster, soooo good, one of my favorites.

The story of Planet of the Apes is unique and twisted. It ultimately is a nightmarish look at where our actions as humans could lead us, although a bit heavy handed, it's still a cool idea. The evolution of the Apes is a parallel to our own, and it's interesting to see how science and religion dictates how the story unfolds. The payoff at the end makes the ride worth while and it's the kind of ending I love in a story. This definitely a must see for any sci-fi fan, or those looking to explore the genre.

Beneath the Planet of the Apes

(1970) [Trailer]

Director: Ted Post [IMDB]

Synopsis: The lone survivor of a search party for the crew that crash landed on the Planet of the Apes finds a hidden world underneath the planet's surface.

This follow up starts off right where the last film ended. You have a lot of the same characters and even Charlton Heston makes a brief cameo. I feel like it tries too hard to emulate the first film and doesn't quite succeed. It is still a fun watch, and it manages to throw a few twists into the mix that I wasn't expecting. The major curveball is what Brent (the lone survivor who looks an awful lot like Charlton Heston) finds underneath the planet... it's an interesting direction to take the film, but it also dishes out a lot of plot holes. I won't get too into it, as it's spoiler territory, but it makes for a much more exciting second half of the film.

Escape from the Planet of the Apes

(1971) [Trailer]

Director: Don Taylor [IMDB]

Synopsis: Three Apes escape the Planet of the Apes only to arrive back on Earth in the 70's.

After the ending of Beneath the Planet of the Apes, there weren't many places the franchise could go. The direction they took it in, for me, was a bit of a disappointment. The fish out of water attempt at taking the apes into the real world just didn't work. The idea that the Apes were able to fix a fucking spaceship and fly back in time is pretty absurd, but the way the US government handles the arrival of talking monkeys in spacesuits is retarded... they send them to the Zoo?? I mean they touched down in a rocket, I think security would be a little tighter. The ending of this film is probably the best thing about it, but the pay off isn't worth the investment. 

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
(1972) [Trailer]
Director: J. Lee Thompson [IMDB]

Synopsis: In the 90's apes are kept as slaves to humans and Nirvana is a really popular band.

This film follows the rise of Caesar, who was the baby of Cornelis and Zira, two of the stranded Apes from the last film (and all the other installments for that matter.) Conquest most closely resembles the 2012 remake Rise of the Planet of the Apes... which I'm gonna get too. There are things that I love about this movie, and things that annoy me. The first half is pretty slow and a lot of it doesn't make sense. Ricardo Montalban (Khaaaan!), who's been taking care of Caesar for the last 20 years, all of the sudden wants to head into the big city and throw him into harms way? When they are on the run, Montalban turns himself in? Why not keep running? Also, the humans find out in the last movie that the apes well eventually take over the planet, so what do they do.... take them as pets and slaves?

The ending makes up for a lot of the issues, it turns into a fantastic jail break/revolt flick that keeps you on the edge of your seat... aka my couch. I would recommend if you watch it, go with the unrated cut, it's a much darker ending.

Battle for the Planet of the Apes
(1973) [Trailer]
Director: J. Lee Thompson [IMDB]

Synopsis: Roughly 15 years after Caesar's revolt, the Earth has been ravaged by nuclear war and Apes and man coexist... like those stupid bumper stickers.

This movie was pretty bad. It's extremely boring and I found getting through the whole thing to be challenging. There is a huge plot hole... all the Apes learned how to talk in 15 years? At the end of Conquest only Caesar could talk (him being a direct descendant of the future apes) and all those other apes were just that... apes. They were still primitive. Makes no sense whatsoever. The ending of this film is a total bummer in my opinion. The Apes movies always end on a dark note, which is awesome, but this one ends with all this peaceful hippy bullshit... lame... ughhh the early 70's, what a dreadful time.

Planet of the Apes
(2001) [Trailer]
Director: Tim Burton [IMDB]

Synopsis: Same shit as the original... only with Marky Mark.

I was excited the first time I saw this... Tim Burton tackling Planet of the Apes... yes! After seeing it, I remember feeling bummed a little. Now after another go around with it, I love it... just kidding, it's still not that great. You can't help but compare the original to this.... you see everything they got right with that and how it all misfires in 2001. The script is pretty bad and there are a lot of characters in this that don't need to be there. There's this weird love triangle between Mark Walhberg, the slave girl, and the Ape played by Helena Bonham Carter. The ending makes so sense at all, I won't spoil it, but it just feels completely wrong. I'd pass on this and stick to the original if you're gonna spend the time.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes
(2011) [Trailer]
Director: Rupert Wyatt [IMDB]

Synopsis: James Franco gets the surprise of a life time after injecting a lab ape with super drugs.

Those who have followed this site and my reviews my recall one of the very first posts I ever made... it was my top films of 2011... you can see it right HERE... go ahead... I'll wait. You'll notice Rise is pretty close to the top... and for good reason. I love it. Plain and simple.

This was my third time with it and nothing has changed, it's still superb. The story is solid, the pacing towards the climax works smoothly, and the ending leaves you wanting more... hopefully they won't screw up the next one. If you haven't seen this yet... do so, absolutely my favorite of the series.

Repo Man

Repo Man
(1984) [Trailer]
Director: Alex Cox [IMDB]

In high school (and today) I was a fan of the stuff they call the punk rock. If you liked punk, chances are you were fond of the movie Repo Man. I wasn't. I remember little about this film, other than the soundtrack featured Black Flag and the Circle Jerks were the lounge band. I recently picked up the newly pressed Criterion blu-ray and decided to give it a rewatch.

Synopsis: Emilio Chestevez is a punker who falls into the job of repo man... from there, things getting a little weird.

Repo Man is a strange title that might not be for everyone. It's one of those films I think people got attached to when it came out in the 80's then into the 90's. But today I could see a 20 year old watching this for the first time and hating it... but who gives a shit about what a 20 year old thinks. There are lots of funny subtle things the director injects throughout the film which I really enjoyed and I'm not even sure if all of it was on purpose or not. Just like with punk music, it's a stripped down and simple film, but extremely unconventional... and it works.

Repo Man is by no means perfect, there is some poor acting at times and the pacing is a little dicey. I could compare it to when I go back and look at my first band's demo tape. The xeroxed artwork was slightly crooked, there's that bass line I fucked up on, and a slight hum throughout its runtime. Those little flourishes are what gives it its charm. I loved revisiting this film and would recommend the Criterion release, which looks fantastic on blu-ray and the artwork is something to behold.

Oz the Great and Powerful

Oz the Great and Powerful
(2013) [Trailer]
Director: Sam Raimi [IMDB]

I really enjoy Sam Raimi's movies... Spider Man 2, Evil Dead, Drag Me to Hell... all good stuff. I was very interested to check out his new film Oz back in March, but time got away from me and I missed it. Disney just delivered the blu-ray yesterday, so here we are...

Synopsis: James Franco plays a washed up magician who finds himself mysteriously transported to an enchanting land where he must help kill a wicked witch.

Oz is a prequel to the Wizard of Oz with an updated feel, but it basically runs along the same lines as it's predecessor. It looks fantastic, in terms of visual effects, but part of me (most of me) wanted less computer shit and more physical stuff... especially with Sam Raimi behind the helm. The score by Danny Elfman sounds just as you would expect and seemed like a fitting choice. I also enjoyed how they started the film in the 1.3 aspect ratio and then went wide as soon as Franco arrives in Oz, that was a nice touch.

I'd heard a lot of negatives about Mila Kunis in Oz before watching it, but honestly I thought Michelle Williams was worse. Maybe it was because she was in front of a green screen for the majority of the film, but something seemed really stale about her performance. James Franco, was James Franco... you're either a fan or you're not, but he definitely comes across as he always does.

I enjoyed this film mostly and found it entertaining. Oz is not great and powerful, but it gets the job done.

Star Trek: The Odds (I, III, V)

Awhile back I reviewed all the even numbered Star Trek movies from the original series...guess what? You can check those out right HERE...  go ahead, do it. After watching the new Star Trek Into Darkness film I decided to go back and give all the odd numbered movies from the original series a re-watch.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture
(1979) [Trailer]
Director: Robert Wise [IMDB]

Synopsis: After a 10 year absence from television, the crew of the Enterprise have reunited to go up against an unknown alien presence that's threatening to destroy the Earth.

This film gets a bad rap and many consider it the worst Star Trek film (of the original series.) The main problem for me is... it's way too long, there are all these long drawn-out scenes in space that are unneeded and make things pretty boring at times, especially at the beginning of the film. It has some pretty spectacular special effects, especially for the time, so I think that's why they spend so much time showing them off, but it's really unnecessary.  This was my third time watching this film and like the two times before it I had forgotten what takes place during the movie, I don't know it that's good thing or not. Other than that, the same staples that make most Star Trek films enjoyable are there... a good cast, dialogue and an interesting story... too bad it just takes forever to roll out.

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
(1984) [Trailer]
Director: Leonard Nimoy [IMDB]

Synopsis: Kirk and the boys set out to the Genesis planet to find Phil Collins... I'm kidding, they're looking for Spock.

This film relies heavily on Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan to set it up, so I would recommend you watch that before diving into this. That said, it's a pretty descent follow up to Wrath of Khan, but not nearly as good. I like the addition of the Klingons and thought Christopher Lloyd was a good villain, even though it's hard to imagine him as anyone but Doc Brown. The heist of the enterprise was fun to see unfold, although one plot hole... you're telling me there's only one ship Starfleet has available in the surrounding area that can chase after the Enterprise? I call bullshit. I'm not sure why there's so much hate for this film, I've always thought it was alright. There is one thing... the fingering of Spock was a pretty creepy scene.

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
(1989) [Trailer]
Director: William Shatner [IMDB]

Synopsis: The Enterprise is highjacked by a man who believes he has found God and takes the crew on a trip to the center of the galaxy to find Heaven.

The first time I saw this film I remember thinking it was really good (I was very young), after a second viewing it dropped tremendously in favorability... so where does it rank now? On my third viewing of The Final Frontier, one thing that stands out immediately, and that's is how bad the dialogue is at times. The comedic tone felt cheesy, as opposed to part IV, which is a genuinely hilarious film. There are definitely some cringe worthy moments, like both scenes involving the rocket boots... ughhh.

One thing really quickly: The Klingon captain is hell bent on fighting the Enterprise, but why, cause he's bored... he just seemed like a wasted character and really unnecessary.

I did like the overall idea of the film, it reminded me of something that would have been explored in the TV series, it just wasn't executed very well. I still don't hate this film, even with all its flaws it was still enjoyable for me, maybe it's because I'm into the characters and the universe... I would imagine this film would be hell for someone that's not into Star Trek.



Next up for me in Star Trek Land will be the Next Generation films. I'm gonna pick up the set on blu-ray soon and I'll have those coming your way at some point soon. Get pumped... or don't. Whatever... asshole.

The Loved Ones

The Loved Ones
(2009) [Trailer]
Director: Sean Byrnes [IMDB]

I had heard lots of good things about The Loved Ones before going into it, so I bumped it to the top of my Netfix queue on behalf of a few friends who had recommended it. It has been sitting at my house for over 2 months, along with two other discs from them that I need to watch and return. Ever since Netflix instant my physical discs have been getting the short end of the stick, so I'm gonna try and navigate through these damn things.

Synopsis: After asking a stoner named Brent to prom and getting rejected, Lola decides to take what she wants by force. With the help of her father she throws her own prom and guess who's invited?

The Loved Ones is an interesting movie, I suppose I should tell you why... that's why I get paid the big bucks. It's a horror film, but I didn't find it scary... just really fucked up. It's like a torture film if anything, but the first half of it plays out like a drama as well. It's strange and unconventional... if some of the cast from Dazed and Confused met the family from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre you'd kind of be somewhere near the feel of this film. I definitely liked the movie but there were things that didn't work for me, the build up and some of the characters involved seemed unnecessary. There's also the casting of Lola.... while she did a fantastic job in the role, she just didn't seem like the kind of girl who would be this weird outcast hell bent on torturing her dates.

The Loved Ones is an interesting movie and worth a view, I may even pick it up for a future rewatch to see if it gets any better with time.