Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
(2013) [Trailer]
Director: Peter Jackson [IMDB]

The LOTR/Hobbit films will probably always score a 4 Arnold or higher as long as Peter Jackson is handling them and I will always go out to see them in the theater... why? Because they are awesome, that's why. At this point you're either on board or you are not, so really... it's like preaching to the choir doing this review. Jackson has crafted the art of Hobbit film making and I don't think you can win over anyone who's not already in agreement with me on that.

Synopsis: Bilbo and his posse continue their journey to the Lonely Mountain in order to reclaim Erebor from Smaug... the badass dragon.

This installment is a lot more energetic than An Unexpected Journey (click that link to read my review... do it.) and I found it to be more entertaining. The special effects, especially on Smaug and Sauron were fantastic, some of the best CG work I've ever seen. The action was innovative, including a fight that took place going down a river that was incredible and felt like nothing I'd seen before. Kate from LOST was a new addition to the roster and now I have an elf crush on her... but seriously she was great and perfectly cast. The Lake town of Esgaroth looked insane and to think of the time it must have taken to render that blows my mind.

The film ends on a cliff hanger and it just made me end up wanting more. I can't wait till next year... no... actually I can't wait till 2016, so I can own all of them and have a super Hobbit/LOTR mega marathon.

I Still Like M. NIght Shyamalan (The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs, and Lady in the Water)

I wrote this review up months ago and forgot about it. I don't know if that means anything, but I guess you could read into it a little. Everyone thinks M. Night sucks now and have wrote him off (kinda like me forgetting this review.) The man has cranked out some hits and I'm about to revisit them.

The Sixth Sense
(1999) [Trailer]
Director: M. Night Shyamalan [IMDB]

Synopsis: A doctor starts seeing a child with a secret... he likes jam bands.

1999 was an insane year for movies. There were a tone of rad titles that dropped that year and among all of them, The Sixth Sense was one of my favorites. I think everyone has seen this film, but what I don't know is if everyone has rewatched it. It has a really different vibe once you've seen it and know what to expect. The performances, especially from Haley Joel Osment and Toni Collette are great. The story has a Hitchcockian vibe but is still feels original and unfolds at a perfect pace... and there's even a few horror notes in there which work fantastically. Bravo M. Night... bravo!

Unbreakable
(2000) [Trailer]
Director: M. Night Shyamalan [IMDB]

Synopsis: A lone survivor of a cataclysmic train wreck learns there might be more to his escape than he thought after he meets a local comic book nerd.

I recall checking this film out in the theaters and loving every minute of it. I honestly couldn't remember a lot of it before this rewatch and was unsure if it would hold up. It's still pretty good, not great, but a lot of fun. I like the concept behind this film and it still feels extremely original and fresh 13 years later. Unbreakable is a unique twist on a super hero flick and one I think would have been cool to see a sequel for. I wasn't a huge fan of how quickly the ending unfolds, I think Shyamalan could have took it in a better direction, but ultimately this film is a winner in my book.

Signs
(2002) [Trailer]
Director: M. Night Shyamalan [IMDB]

Synopsis: Are mysterious signs being formed out of corn crops a hoax or a message from aliens? Signs takes a deeper look into this phenomenon.

Signs was pretty thrilling when I first saw it, I remember my arm hairs standing up when they first showed that Alien crossing the street in Central America. After this sitting, it still holds up for the most part I suppose. The cast were great and pulled off the material given to them with ease, but the story seemed a little weak to me. The crop circles are a small part of a grand idea, but I think that idea could have been more localized and contained, instead of trying to make Signs into a full scale invasion movie. I also felt like the ending was extremely abrupt and crisis resolves itself in an really unsatisfying way. I still like the film, I just think M. Night could have produced something better.

Lady in the Water
(2006) [Trailer]
Director: M. Night Shyamalan [IMDB]

Synopsis: A modern day fairytale unfolds as the residences of a Philly apartment deal with a mysterious visitor from their swimming pool.

I think this was the film that really started the ball rolling on the M. Night hate express. I know a lot of people loathed it but I still think it's a good film and after my recent viewing I still stand firm on that. It definitely has its flaws but I really appreciate the idea Shyamalan had with it and the execution of that concept is unique. I think the framing device in the intro and the old Korean lady were quasi lazy attempts to move the story along and it seems like there could have been a better way to handle it. Regardless, the story is fun, the characters were interesting, and the setting was incredible.

This Is the End

This Is the End
(2013) [Trailer]
Director: Evan Goldberg [IMDB], Seth Rogan [IMDB]

I dig everyone involved in this movie. Each actor displayed in that poster over there has done a movie, or movies, that I've really enjoyed and laughed at... primarily Franco and Rogan in Pineapple Express. So, This Is the End should be great right?

Synopsis: A group of Hollywood all stars come together to face the apocalypse.

I liked This Is the End, but didn't love it like many others seemed to. It also feels like it's the kind of film that could grow on you, like whenever I get a haircut... I normally don't like it right away and then after a week it starts to feel right. Hopefully, that'll be the case with This Is the End, except instead of a week, it'll be probably a year or so before I rewatch it.

There are a few awesomely funny moments and some lulls as well. One moment involving a so called penis seemed to be all I heard about before seeing this, it isn't as humorous as I had hoped... and I'm always looking to get a good chuckle from the male reproductive organ.

The cast all seemed natural and comfortable in their roles, which made it more believable... even though the concept is absurd. The ending is a little cheesy and made the film lose some points from me. But who am I really? Just some dude, so watch it for yourself and be the judge.

Jack the Giant Slayer

Jack the Giant Slayer
(2013) [Trailer]
Director:  Byran Singer [IMDB]

"Nibble, nibble, gnaw who is nibbling at my little house?" Hansel and Gretel answered "It's not us, its Jack!"  The witch confused as to what fairy tale it was said "Jack be nimble Jack be quick? Hurry up to the clouds upon those windy green sticks!" The witch, still in a state of confusion from the children's hungry collusion, to see a little clearer, decided it was time to consult her mirror. Mirror Mirror on the wall . . . could this be the worst fairy tale <dramatic pause> of them all!

Synopsis:  Long ago magic beans created a windy green stalk that allowed evil giants to come pillage our lands.  A great and noble king created a mind control crown to conquer the giants and send them back up the stalk which he subsequently chopped down.  He had the the crown and remaining beans buried with him for all eternity until an evil would-be king dug them up to gather the giant army to lay siege upon the lands once more.  Somewhere along the way an 18 year old Jack, gets tossed into the mix and has to slay the giants to save the beloved princess and all the land.

Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum Hollywood's desire to modernize childhood fairy tales is . . . quite dumb!  A glutton for punishment after watching two, I should have called it and been through.  With those two,  Hansel &Gretel Witch Hunters (awful) and Snow White and the Huntsman (decent) that I did review, I should stopped ahead and bid adieu.  Unfortunately, the WFR trifecta was needed so with this review my warning should be heeded!

Jack is a limited tale with plenty of CGI which left me to wonder why-oh-why.  I should have stopped at number two but the trifecta forced this onto my queue.  As I followed along with their magical trek I realized they were only in it for the paycheck!

Take my advice and save yourself time because you will likely be more entertained by these musings and rhyme.



  

Pacific Rim

Pacific Rim
(2013) [Trailer]
Director: Guillermo del Toro [IMDB]

I wanted to take another stab at adding some more exclusive content to Williams Film Review, so I designed the poster for this review. I think it has a nice minimalist vibe to it. Check it out over there to the left. You done? Ok good. On we go.

I've been looking forward to checking out Guillermo del Toro's newest film, the monstrosity (pun intended) known as Pacific Rim. It stars Idris Elba, aka Stringer Bell, who I love and based off what I saw in the trailer, it looked like a knock out... let's see if it holds up to its promise.

Synopsis: Sea monsters come from a parallel dimension that opens up from a crack in the Pacific Rim. We create giants robots to fight them. There you go.

I was totally on board for the Pacific Rim express and found it to be exactly what I want from a summer block buster. It's del Toro's take on Godzilla or any of the other Japanese monster movies, only more stylish and modernized. The story and characters are what you would expect from a block buster, they weren't perfect but Guillermo manages to inject enough of his own vision into the equation to really have those elements not stand out in a negative way. The one thing I thought I was going to hate, I actually liked... the special effects. I was worried Pacific Rim would end up being a shitty CG love fest, akin to Transformers, but I found everything to be well crafted and quite the opposite. Having it set in places like Sydney and Hong Kong helped give it a unique feel, and the robot/monster designs felt inspired but fresh.

Pacific Rim won't win Oscars for its drama, but it totally offers a fun time at the movies and it's perfect for the season.

Blade

Blade
(1998) Trailer
Director: Stephen Norrington [IMDB]

My good buddy Sam Slater picked this up for me as a gift, so this review goes out to him... thanks Sam!

I've actually wanted to check this film out for a while, but just never got around to it. Now that I finally own it on blu-ray, I figured it was time to jam on it.

Synopsis: Wesley Snipes is a vampire hunter tracking a pack of particularly deadly killers led by.... Stephen Dorff?

One thing you immediately notice when watching Blade is how much it feels like The Matrix visually and action wise. It did come out a year prior to The Matrix, but the "internets" say they were in production at the same time. So, who knows if The Matrix ripped this off... but it sure does feel like it did.

Snipes is pretty believable in his roll and I also really loved Kris Kristofferson... I thought he was perfectly cast. One person who didn't work for me, was Stephen Dorff. I like him as an actor, I thought Somewhere was one of the best films of 2010, but as the ruthless leader of a vampire clan... he just didn't seem like a realistic choice.

Overall I loved the action and style Blade laid out and found it to be a fun genre flick. I think I'll have to pick up the second installment at some point and give that go.

Oz the Great and Powerful

Oz the Great and Powerful
(2013) [Trailer]
Director: Sam Raimi [IMDB]

I really enjoy Sam Raimi's movies... Spider Man 2, Evil Dead, Drag Me to Hell... all good stuff. I was very interested to check out his new film Oz back in March, but time got away from me and I missed it. Disney just delivered the blu-ray yesterday, so here we are...

Synopsis: James Franco plays a washed up magician who finds himself mysteriously transported to an enchanting land where he must help kill a wicked witch.

Oz is a prequel to the Wizard of Oz with an updated feel, but it basically runs along the same lines as it's predecessor. It looks fantastic, in terms of visual effects, but part of me (most of me) wanted less computer shit and more physical stuff... especially with Sam Raimi behind the helm. The score by Danny Elfman sounds just as you would expect and seemed like a fitting choice. I also enjoyed how they started the film in the 1.3 aspect ratio and then went wide as soon as Franco arrives in Oz, that was a nice touch.

I'd heard a lot of negatives about Mila Kunis in Oz before watching it, but honestly I thought Michelle Williams was worse. Maybe it was because she was in front of a green screen for the majority of the film, but something seemed really stale about her performance. James Franco, was James Franco... you're either a fan or you're not, but he definitely comes across as he always does.

I enjoyed this film mostly and found it entertaining. Oz is not great and powerful, but it gets the job done.

The Twilight Saga

No movie franchise out there gets more hatred than the Twilight Saga. I know, as a cinephile, one is meant to automatically despise these films... but why? Sure, I've heard the reasons, but when it comes down to it I can't say shit... you know why? I haven't seen these fucking movies. Nothing annoys me more than someone who is so steadfastly against a film they have no experience watching. In my opinion, you have no opinion on Twilight unless you've sat down and watched them. So, I decided to strap in and form my own opinion on these films. Let's see if they're really as bad as people think they are.

Twilight

(2008) [Trailer]

Director: Catherine Hardwicke [IMDB]

Synopsis: Bella goes to stay with her dad in a small Washington town where she starts to fall for a young vampire named Edward.

My first impression of this film is that... it's not that bad. Before watching it I was expecting this to be the worst piece of shit I've ever seen and it's no where near close to that (Catwoman). The acting is spotty at times and the story has a few plot holes, but nothing too damaging to the whole ride. I thought Twilight was an entertaining story and it unfolds at a respectable pace. 

The color correction in Twilight is definitely noticeable, everything is very saturated and seems unreal. The effects they used whenever someone runs super fast looked awful and almost humorous at times.   

I can see why people think this is a movie for teenage girls, but it isn't nearly as bad as the wrap it gets.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon

(2009) [Trailer]

Director: Chris Weitz [IMDB]

Synopsis: Jacob, who's more of an afterthought in the first movie, is now thrust into the spotlight as he falls in love with Bella after Edward takes off on her... ahhh young love.

This installment was a little lack luster in my opinion. It feels similar to the first chapter aesthetically, but the story is pretty boring. It's basically Kristin Stewart trying to figure out who she loves and it starts to get boring fast. Halfway through I was ready for New Moon to wrap up, but no.... it keeps going and going and takes forever to finish. In terms of traditional story telling, New Moon completely veers off course. There's no real interesting exposition, no climax, and no resolution. It's a bit of a wet noodle and gets a failing grade at the school of WFR.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
(2010) [Trailer]
Director: David Slade [IMDB]

Synopsis: Bella has to choose between the two boys and everyone braces for a conflict with a rogue group of young vampires.

Eclipse comes back with a much easier story to digest and I'd say it's the strongest of the series so far, but not by a lot. The lead up and execution of the battle gives you something to look forward too, it also breaks up the romance which is what the last movie needed.

Jacob is always shirtless in Eclipse and it's hilarious. Why? I mean I know the guy is ripped but seriously it starts to become really ridiculous. His wolf pack doesn't wear shirts, I'm assuming because they turn into wolves and don't want to ruin a good shirt, but what about their cut off jean shorts?

 

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1

(2011) [Trailer]

Director: Bill Condon [IMDB]

Synopsis: Bella and Edward tie the knot... finally. After their honeymoon Bella finds out she's preggers... but things don't go according to plan.

This film was overly stale and a yawn-fest. It, like New Moon, doesn't go anywhere interesting. The first half of Part 1 is basically Bella and Edward getting married and going on a honeymoon. Sure, they finally bone and for many people invested heavily into their romance it was probably a big deal... I could have cared less honestly. It's slightly better than New Moon because it doesn't feel as long, but that's about it. 

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 

(2011) [Trailer]

Director: Bill Condon [IMDB]

Synopsis: Bella and Edward finally have their child and in order to deliver it... spoiler... Bella finally turns and becomes a vampire.

First things first... the CG baby. What in the actual fuck... they couldn't find a normal baby? They had to CG a baby face? It's creepy as shit and extremely distracting.

This slice of Twilight injects a ton of new characters without giving you any real knowledge of who they are or why they are important... only that they're there to help the Cullens battle against the Volturi (the vampires who run shit.) The lead up to the final battle is alright, but the outcome of the fight is a little lame. Jacob becomes a glorified babysitter, guess he got the short end of the stick. Part 2 wraps up the saga in a decent way, but still left me feeling a little underwhelmed.

The Twilight Saga is ok. Nothing great. Nothing offensive... well maybe a few little things. Overall I wasn't too bent out of shape running through these films. I can say the Transformers Trilogy (Saga) was way more shitty than Twilight. Fucking Michael Bay.

The Beastmaster

The Beastmaster
(1982) [Trailer]
Director: Don Coscarelli [IMDB]

Chances are if you grew up in the 80's and had HBO, you probably saw Beastmaster at one point or another. I thought back then that it was one of the scariest films ever made. You got little kids being thrown into fire pits, creepy witch ladies with butter faces, weird bird people who turned you into human soup, and the green earwigs which turned you into a raging S&M monster... to a six year old... that's some terrifying shit. It has been a film I've been waiting to come to blu-ray, but that doesn't look like it's gonna happen anytime soon, so I just watched a shitty downloaded copy because I'm tired of waiting... I'm ready for a little Beastmaster in my life.

Synopsis: Marc Singer (aka Mark Hamill part two) is a warrior who can communicate with animals. When his village is destroyed he seeks to enact revenge on the guilty.

Beastmaster is still pretty fun and it was nice to revisit it after all this time. It's still dark and the effects hold up surprisingly well... what doesn't hold up is the acting. Marc Singer is pretty brutal and Tanya Roberts isn't much better. It's Beastmaster... I'm not really excepting Daniel Day-Lewis quality acting, so I guess I wasn't too bothered by it.

The ending seemed really dragged out. First you have the confrontation with Rip Torn (the evil preist) and then the enemy hord from the beginning return to slug it out. I think they should have just ran with one senario.

If you're into the whole sword & sandals genre and you haven't seen The Beastmaster... you should do so right away. If you're not, you could probably live out the rest of your days and be content without it in your life.

Holy Motors

Holy Motors
(2012) [Trailer]
Director: Leos Carax [IMDB]

This year is coming to an end and that means "best of 2012" lists are popping up everywhere. In preparation for putting my own together, I figured I'd pop on Holy Motors, a film which has been making its way into many "best of" lists this year. So... here we go.

Synopsis: A guy in a limo drives around Paris and is given assignments where he takes on the lives of different characters.

I'll start by saying if you're looking for some kind of narrative in your movie going experience and you wanna check out Holy Motors... you're gonna have a bad time. This film has zero storyline and is more like a group images and events linked together by the protagonist and his limo. It's a beautiful looking film and there are lots of stunning visuals (like the dog in theater at the beginning.) What do these cinematic paintings and their sporadic dialogue interlaced throughout them mean? This enigmatic title's main point is to question the viewer. It's confusing and basically leaves you scratching your head. For me, there are other movies that do this much better (Synecdoche, New York), but I still applaud the film maker for trying to do something different. It just didn't work for me... mainly I found the movie tiresome and a little slow.

I don't think Holy Motors is horrible and it's something that I'd like to revisit, but if you're not into artsy films... you will loathe this.

The Hobbit

The Hobbit
(2012) [Trailer]
Director: Peter Jackson [IMDB]

Little known fact about Curtis Williams: I took my wife to see Lord of the Rings on our very first date. I am an extremely huge fan of that trilogy and when I found out Peter Jackson was returning to crank out another three of these bad boys, I only had one thought... dear god... please don't let me die until I've seen them all.

Synopsis: A hobbit is recruited into an adventure of epic proportions by a Wizard and a group of dwarfs.

This movie is exactly what I thought it would be. I don't know if that's good or bad. On one hand I want more of the same and I got it. On the other, should Jackson have tried something different... nah, this is fine. That said I am going to rate this against the other films.

The Hobbit is very explosive and I felt like there was a lot of action. It's continually moving and there are not a lot of slow moments surprisingly... maybe a few here and there... but not many. The action set pieces are fantastic and I was a huge fan of the goblin fight scene in particule. I loved the execution of The Hobbit as well, it looks stunning. The visuals are seriously immense and awe inspiring. The CG and practical work are flawless and it's hard to tell which is which. The score is also just as good as ever and from that very first tune you know you're in for a good time.

The film does have one negative. I felt like it was unfinished, which obviously it is, but the ending was extremely anti climatic.

I really enjoy these films and they're perfect for just getting lost in and tuning out for a while. In a nut shell I'll end with this... If you were into LOTR, you'll probably like this, if you weren't, avoid it.

Snow White and the Huntsman

Snow White and the Huntsman
(2012) [Trailer]
Director: Rupert Sanders [IMDB]

I can imagine at the pitch meeting for this film the producer being like "Ok... forget about the Snow White you think you know, this is a whole new Snow White for a new generation." or some shit like that.

Synopsis: An evil queen tracks down a princess who will give her ever lasting youth.

I wasn't a big fan of this film and there are a lot of things that annoyed me about the story. One main thing is why they decided to introduce the Prince and Thor as Snow White's potential love interests. It didn't seem necessary, just pick one of them and focus on that. It just inflated an overly long movie. There were a few other plot holes and things that didn't work, but whatever. The special effects were pretty good, except for one swamp monster thingy. There was also some really impressive cinematography, but not enough to give this a passing grade from me.