A Cult Classic Double Feature - TerrorVision & Night of the Comet

What makes a movie a cult movie? In high school I thought it meant a movie you dressed up for and went to the theater to sing a long with, as was the case with The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I later learned that there were other films considered cult movies, many of which I sought out and now love. Recently I learned Netflix has a whole category devoted to cult movies, so I decided to watch two of them and I can safely say... Netflix is being a little generous with the term "cult".

TerrorVision

(1986) [Trailer]
Director: Ted Nicolaou (IMDB)

Synopsis: Aliens from other planet beam themselves through a family's satellite TV. Giddy up!

Ewwww... this is one ugly movie. It's very cheap looking and you'll notice whenever there's anything filmed outside there's a shitty backdrop and fake lighting. The effects are dated, the monster and space alien look like a hot mess, but being a fan of old 80's horror and bad practical effects, I didn't mind. This stars Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite and the kid from My Two Dads. The acting is pretty brutal in TerrorVision and to say it's over the top would be an understatement. The script is bad, like dog shit bad. The parents are swingers with a "pleasure dome" at home... but with two kids and Grandpa also living there??? Yeah right. As much as this has going against it, I still found it somewhat fun and charming. I wouldn't go out of your way to see it, but it's instant streaming on Netflix and entertaining if you like bad horror.

Night of the Comet

(1984) [Trailer]
Director: Thom E. Eberhardt (IMDB)

Synopsis: A comet lands on earth and obliterates most of humanity, the survivors have to deal with leftover mutants who are out for blood.

This little slice of 80's horror stars the mom from TerrorVision and the girlfriend from The Last Starfighter... that's a solid billing right there. Actually, I use the term horror lightly here, there's 5 minutes of mutant screen time, the rest of this film consists of the protagonists galavanting across an empty Los Angeles landscape with seemingly no real threat of danger. A lot of movies have plot holes, more recently films like Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises have been getting raked over the coals for it, but this fucking movie makes those two look like... what is something without a lot of holes? Makes those two look like the Hoover Dam... there you go. I could list out a ton of inaccuracies here, but it's not really worth it as most of you will never watch this.

Carlito's Way

Carlito's Way
(1993) [Trailer]
Director: Brian De Palma (IMDB)

Sam Slater insisted I watch this movie. So much so that he brought it into the office for me to borrow... that's right... Williams Film Review has an office... we're big time. I wasn't sure if I had seen this film or not... 10 minutes in and I came to the conclusion that.... I had seen it. Does the fact that I forgot watching this mean it's shit, or does it mean I watch too many movies?

Synopsis: Carlito is an ex hood recently released from prison. Once he's on the outside he struggles with getting his life together, all while being pulled back into the game by his old connections.

Al Pacino and Sean Penn do a stand up job with their roles and the script in pretty engaging. The story is okay but nothing out of the ordinary, I'd say if anything they could have trimmed down the film a bit. I wasn't fan of the girlfriend, her hair really bothered me. I know that sounds trivial and I don't give a shit. The worst thing about Carlito's Way is the use of THIS SONG... barf. Besides that, I was a fan of Brian De Palma's direction in general. I truly enjoyed the last 45 minutes of the film when things really started to fall apart for Carlito... I like watching people fuck up.

Anyways... pop on this if you're in the mood for a decent crime flick.

What Women Want

What Women Want

(2000) [Trailer]
Director: Nancy Meyers (IMDB)

Hello reader, I am back and better than ever with a new Fun review. As you can see, I have decided to review a film that I feel this website has needed for some time, What Women Want. Now you might ask yourself, why Sam, why would you review a film from 2000, which is ultimately forgettable at best. Well the hell with you, how dare you think you can tell me what to review. When you decide to write your reviews, you can choose the film so let me choose mine.

Nick Marshall (played by the notoriously friendly Mel Gibson) is a salesman who is fantastic at selling to men but even better at seducing women. He is without a doubt a male chauvinist. Yet this chauvinist is in for a RUDE awakening. One night while attempting to understand the mind of women (a fairly common thing for men), he decides that trying on feminine products in the bathroom will help him gain understanding. His belief being that a little makeup and some tampons hold all of the secrets of the mind of a woman. Well, before you dismiss that (of course you do, don’t knock something until you try it), Nick accidently falls into the tub while crimping his hair giving him an electric shock. What happens? Well, instead of simply killing him or at best badly burning him, he is given the power to read only women’s minds. Well I think you can guess what happens next, (at first scared, then excited, then hates it and finally learns a valuable lesson from it).

Overall, I found this film a decent idea (again what man wouldn’t want to know what women think) but overall it lacked the depth that would make this a good film. There are a few funny parts (reading a woman’s mind during intercourse) but overall not enough funny for me to overlook the glaring logical errors and lack of creativity. Just a few for the fun of it, why would an electric shock give him the ability to read minds, why would this shock give him only the ability to read women’s minds and not men’s, is there something special about makeup that allows you to read women’s minds, why wouldn’t Mel Gibson use this ability to gamble against women to make more money, etc….. I could go on and on with this. If you are looking for mindless comedy that’s ok at best, go with this.

The Batman Anthology

After watching The Dark Knight Rises and writing my review of it, I decided to go back and watch all the Batman movies. It's been awhile since I've seen them all, so why not... I have no life.

Batman

(1966) [Trailer]
Director: Leslie H. Martinson (IMDB)

Holy polaris! It's the first Batman film! I wasn't joking when I said I was gonna watch ALL the Batman movies. I grew up watching Batman reruns on TV and I cherished this movie as a little tyke. Watching it as an adult is a much different experience, but an awesome experience nonetheless. The humor in this film is unique, it runs from campy and in your face to subtle and hidden away... just waiting for you to notice it. One thing I love is when Batman and company try to deduce the villains crime plans, their rationale is so hilariously absurd. It's things like that which make me really enjoy the script... the writers were geniuses. Everything in this is Bat something, so I decided to make a list of my favorite Bat Stuff.

1. The Batrides - (Batmobile, Batcopter, Batboat, Batcycle) 

2. The Batladder 

3. Shark Repellent Batspray

4. Super fine Batgrain 

5. Batrope

Batman

(1989) [Trailer]
Director: Tim Burton (IMDB)

There's not a kid growing up in America during the 90's that didn't have a copy of this on VHS... Okay maybe there was, but I can guarantee you his/her parents were assholes. Tim Burton's iconic masterpiece showcased The Dark Knight in a whole new light and really left me blown away after my first viewing. I remember thinking that was one of the greatest movies ever... but does it still hold up? 

This film has the dark tone which becomes common for every Batman film after... but it also mimics crime noirs of the 1930's in a lot of ways, which I find interesting. Visually speaking, this is my favorite portrayal of Gotham out of all the movies. It also has the best batmobile and the addition of the batwing is pretty cool too. Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson are serviceable, but I'm not a fan of Kim Basinger what so ever. Alfred is a real dick in this... how are you gonna bring Vicky Vale (who works with a newspaper) into the Batcave only after having known Bruce Wayne for a few days... I know they boned but come on?

Batman Returns
(1992) [Trailer]
Director: Tim Burton (IMDB)

Tim Burton returns to direct his last Batfilm and Michael Keaton reprises his role as the Batman for the last time. Again the score is provided by the great Danny Elfman and it sounds.... just like Danny Elfman. This movie is profoundly more Burtonesque in its style. I really dug the set pieces, my favorites being the clown attack scene on the main square, the broke-down Zoo, and the gathering of the penguins. Danny Devito plays an excellent Penguin but I wasn't too fond of Catwoman. It's not Michelle Pfeiffer that bothered me, but the writing of the character... there was a little cheese there. Ultimately I felt like there's a lot that could have been trimmed from this movie, especially through the middle. It needed a good work out.

Batman Forever
(1995) [Trailer]
Director: Joel Schumacher (IMDB)

Joel Schumacher takes the directoral helm and steers this franchise off a fucking cliff. Right from the very start you can tell something is very wrong, it feels like it's already in the middle of the film. There's no build up to anything, it's just bam! Here's a bad guy (Two Face) and he hates Batman (no idea why) and Nicole Kidman is in love with Batman (again, no idea why). The writing/script is horrific...some examples: "Chicks dig cars"... "I could get into this superhero gig"... "joygasm"... "Holey rusted metal, Batman!"
It's also an ugly film to me. I hate the CGI shots of Gotham City also all the neon and dark lights give it this bad 90's feel. Jim Carrey is the worst in this, he's schtick gets old quick and feels very forced to me. 

I hated Robin in this. Jesus... Robin, where to start. Why does a dude his age, that rides a motorcycle, have to be placed to live with Bruce Wayne after his parents die? You're telling me he's not old enough to care for himself. What about his relatives? Also he washes laundry like a douchebag. 

Two more things then I'm done ripping this a new asshole. How does Chase Meridian, a Doctor (I use the term lightly), so easily get access to the bat signal. Finally, if it's so easy to find Two Face, as is the case with the Riddler, why hasn't Batman apprehended him at this point?

Batman & Robin
(1997) [Trailer]
Director: Joel Schumacher (IMDB)

Compared to Batman Forever, this is the same soup just warmed over. Every performance in this film is utter crap. I know Clooney, I love Clooney... I also love Uma... but in this, they are awful. I'm just gonna make a list of everything that sucks in the film.
1. Alicia Silverstone's mouth.
2. Roller blading.
3. Robin... especially when he says cowabunga.
4. Uma's weird posh accent.
5. The batmobile.
6. The Bat Amex.
7. The motorcycle race.
8. The gang in neon face paint... it's like a precursor to the Juggalos.

This movie is only getting an Arnold because Arnold himself is in it, if he wasn't, it'd get nothing.

Batman Begins
(2005) [Trailer]
Director: Christopher Nolan (IMDB)

Christopher Nolan steps in 8 years later to try and resurrect this dead franchise and boy was he successful. The best thing about Batman Begins is the origin story in the front half of the film. It's the best origin story of any superhero film ever made... you can take that to the bank. Many would think... Batman doesn't show up until an hour in, but it doesn't matter because the build up to that moment is huge. This is more of a character study of Batman and one that is well executed. Everything that makes Nolan's Batman movies unique started here... triumphant scores by Hans Zimmer, captivating cinematography by Wally Pfister, and solid performances by Christian Bale. I actually enjoyed this a lot more on my second viewing. I remembered the last half being a bit underwhelming, but that wasn't the case at all this time. I felt the pacing throughout was perfect and now... Batman Begins actually gets a bump up from me on the ratings scale.

The Dark Knight
(2008) [Trailer]
Director: Christopher Nolan (IMDB)

Man... I miss Heath Ledger. I didn't realize it until last night when I was rewatching The Dark Knight. His portrayal of The Joker wins him the title of best super villain role in movie history. I read that Ledger locked himself up in a hotel for 6 weeks to develop the character and it shows. Without him, this film would have been on level with Batman Begins, but the Ledger effect gives this the advantage.

Basically everything I said about Batman Begins rings true here. There's obviously no origin story for Batman this time, but surprisingly none for The Joker as well. I actually like that move. Instead of going through this long undertaking to explain who he is, you get these veiled explanations of how he got his scars, which always change, making him seem even crazier.

This is definitely my favorite superhero movie, and after this viewing it still remains locked in that spot.

The Dark Knight Rises
(2012) [Trailer]
Director: Christopher Nolan (IMDB)

My initial review can be read HERE.

Just a quick addendum. After watching the other two Nolan films, I think I appreciate this installment a little more. They help give it more context. I would recommend if you haven't seen TDKR yet, see Batman Begins and The Dark Knight again right before going into it.

Killer Joe

Killer Joe
(2012) [Trailer]
Director: William Friedkin (IMDB)

William Friedkin (The Exorcist and To Live and Die in LA) has been in the game for a long time, he's like that aging quarterback that many think should have retired, but hasn't. I for one am glad he hasn't because we wouldn't have this review for you to read and for me to write.

Synopsis: A young man in debt hatches a plan to kill his mother and collect on the insurance, too bad the guy he hired to do the job is a psychopath.

This movie is fucked. There's no other way to put it. DO NOT bring your parents to see this movie. In fact, in it's honor I'm starting a new label titled just that "Do Not Bring Your Parents to See This Movie". I loved this film, absolutely loved it. When I left the theater I had that great feeling of being completely happy, fulfilled, and entertained. This movie is the reason I go to movies. It's submersive and kept me locked into it's crazy tale throughout the whole experience. Matthew McConaughey again, pulls out a killer (no pun intended) performance, but so did everyone else. Gina Gershon and Thomas Haden Church were really funny, Emile Hirsch plays an excellent screw up, and Juno Temple is nude a lot. Killer Joe is the classic tale of greed and how it leads to one's demise, it reminded me a lot of Fargo and Burn After Reading. It's a real fun time, but not for the faint of heart. One thing is for sure... you'll never look at a fried chicken drum stick the same again.