The Blob

The Blob
(1988) [Trailer]
Director: Chuck Russell (IMDB)

Another 80's horror film for you. I've been on a roll with these and have a lot more on deck in the future. Hope that's okay with you? It's not? Well...I'm sorry. Do you forgive me? Thanks.

Synopsis: A mysterious meteorite falls from the Heavens and unleashes a slimy little buddy that's just a real good time to play with.

This remake stars Johnny Drama with a sweet mullet and a girl I've seen in tons of stuff but couldn't remember exactly what, so I IMDB'd (yep, that's a verb) her... it's your favorite: Shawnee Smith! The film is pretty slow to get going but it gets good once people start getting eaten. The practical effects are really awesome but some of the regular effects don't hold up. This is a pretty good watch and decent enough for its age. Hop on it.

Moonrise Kingdom

Moonrise Kingdom
(2012) [Trailer]
Director: Wes Anderson (IMDB)

Here's a joke for you... How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, but I guarantee at least one of them has seen a Wes Anderson film. I've been called a hipster and most people find it to be a put down... I don't give a shit... call me whatever the hell you want, you insecure fuck. All I know is that me and all my hipster brethren were out in full force tonight for Anderson's newest baby...Moonrise Kingdom.

Synopsis: Two kids fall in love on a Island in New England during the 60's, then plan to runaway after their parents don't approve.

If you're not into Wes Anderson's whole aesthetic, you're going to hate this film. It's cutesy overload and definitely showcases exactly what Anderson is all about as a film maker. Actually, this might be the most Wes Andersonesque of any of his movies. There's a lot of really interesting visuals, set pieces, and music... as a fan, I was pretty happy. The film stars Bill Murray (of course), Frances McDormand, Bruce Willis, and Edward Norton... all do a fine job in their rolls. The other two stars are the kids... both are first timers, and I'm really luke warm to both of them. They weren't horrible, but they're not the best either. There were a few scenes where their acting stood out, and took me out of the movie.

Moonrise is still in limited release, but should go wide soon.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
(1969) [Trailer]
Director: George Roy Hill (IMDB)

Many movies are considered "classics". What makes a movie a classic and how long does it take to be bestowed that honor? I recently picked up a few blu-rays that are considered classics that I have not seen. I figured, they were cheap and everyone loves them, so why not. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid was the first of that group of blus and now I will tell you if it's a classic or not.

Synopsis: Paul Newman and Robert Redford portray the infamous bank robbing duet, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid... they rob and shoot at people. It's a lot fun.

For westerns, this is as good as it gets. Newman and Redford are awesome together and their chemistry seems 100% legit on screen. I really enjoyed the opening scene, it's filmed with this cool sepia look and also uses lots of interesting close ups. After that, the film heads into a rough account of the real life robbers and it paces itself through that story line effortlessly. Other highlights for me were the chase scenes and the bike ride. The long and short is... this movie is cool and feel timeless to me. So there you go, it's a classic.

Grindhouse (Planet Terror and Death Proof)

There's a lot of regret in my life. I look back at the path I took and think of how I could have done things differently. Would better choices lead to better results... thus making a better person? Only time will tell. Of all my mistakes, the one I regret most is not seeing Grindhouse in the theaters.

Planet Terror
(2007) [Trailer]
Director: Robert Rodriguez (IMDB)

Synopsis: Part one of the Grindhouse experience finds Rose Mcgowen and the dude from Terminator battling mutant zombies after a mysterious gas is released upon the land.

My wife said to me last night "put on something exciting" so I came out of the bedroom in a zebra striped thong... then she said  "no, a movie you idiot, not a thong" so I grabbed Grindhouse instead... but I still rocked the thong regardless.. I like comfort while I movie watch. My second choice was the right one, Planet Terror is an extremely fun film and grabs your attention right away without letting go. 

Robert Rodriguez heads this valiant effort and boy does it deliver on the grind house B-movie excess. Tons of campiness, over the top action, and loads of gore. The practical effects are awesome, and they totally disgusted my wife... so I'd say they were successful.

I found the whole aged film aspect of the movie started to get old, but again, they're going for the whole 70's B-movie thing, so I'll give it a pass.

 The Grindhouse Trailers
The fake trailers consist of Machete (which was made into a real movie), Werewolf Women of the SS, Don't, and Thanksgiving. All of them are pretty cool, but I'd say the least effective would be the Werewolf Women of the SS, and the best one is Thanksgiving. They are all pretty absurd, but obviously that's the point.

Death Proof
(2007) [Trailer]
Director: Quentin Tarantino (IMDB)

Synopsis: Kurt Russell terrorizes young women and drives a bad ass car. That's all you need to know.

I will start by saying I didn't watch this after Planet Terrror, I turned off Grindhouse after the trailers... why you ask? Because I watched it a few months ago and my wife wasn't trying to watch it again... she was not a fan of Death Proof. I am and would have dived right into it, but I'm a team player and decided not to put her through it again.

If you're into Tarantino, who's one of my favorite directors, you'll more than likely love this film. If you're not, I'm sure you'll hate it. It's very dialog heavy and extremely slow to start, but that didn't bother me. The first act finds Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell) the victor in his escapades to murder innocent females, the second act proves not to be so easy. I loved how the tables are turned, and the ending for this film is one of the best out there. I'll admit, I'm not the most studied in the genre of films this movie pays homage too, but if they're anything like Death Proof, I should start boning up.

Child's Play

Child's Play
(1988) [Trailer]
Director: Tom Holland (IMDB)

While growing up everyone had that doll in the house that you thought to yourself "when it's dark in the room, this little bastard is scary as shit." Whether it was a Cabbage Patch Kid or a clown, you knew deep down, you hated that fucker. The beauty of Child's Play is that it tapped into those fears and exploited them.

Synopsis: A little boy's stuffed doll comes to life after it's possessed by a murderer.

This was one of my favorites as a youth and I was excited to finally pick it up on the baby blu. It still manages to hold up nicely in my opinion and is pretty effective as a horror film. Chucky is creepy and is perfect as the antagonist. I forgot the guy from Fright Night was in this... he's pretty cool. The little kid started to annoy me after awhile, but isn't that what all kids do? There's not much to knock, some little issues here and there, but honestly... this is a fun movie.

Carpenter Fest: Dark Star, Vampires, and Ghosts of Mars.

John Carpenter... the man, the myth, the legend. He's one of my favorite directors, so I thought I'd sit down with three films of his that I haven't seen and knock them out.

Dark Star
(1974) [Full Movie]
Director: John Carpenter (IMDB)

Synopsis: Grizzled astronauts are traveling through space blowing up stars and also having to deal with an asshole beach ball mascot.

As you can tell by the synopsis, this movie is a weird one. It's Carpenter's first full length film and stands out as a rarity from anything I've seen of his. For being released 3 years before I was born, the movie holds up for me in a strange way. The effects, set pieces, and models they used were a little dated... but still fun to watch.

The beach ball critter is just way out there and a very odd addition to the movie. It's a bit silly, but I think that's the point of it.

The pitfalls for me were the dialog and plot, which aren't the best. I did love the ending of the movie, I won't spoil it for you, but it's "totally gnarly!"

Vampires
(1998) [Full Movie]
Director: John Carpenter (IMDB)

Synopsis: James Woods and Daniel Baldwin (the unpopular one) head a group of vampire hunters hired by the Catholic Church to track down blood suckers and you guessed it... kill them.

Vampires is a decent enough movie and has a definite Carpenter feel to it. The cinematography is pretty cool. I noticed a strange reddish tint on a lot of the shots and I don't know if that was intentional or not, but I kind of liked it. There were a lot of great kill scenes and a decent amount of gore throughout. It was also fun to see Laura Palmer back in action, Twin Peaks fans rejoice!

I wasn't a fan of a lot of the dialog in this and some of the acting was shit. Example: there's a scene where James Woods is telling a Priest that he can forget everything he learned about killing Vampires in the movies, like garlic and crosses... then immediately follows it with... the only way to kill these vampires are by sunlight or a stake to the heart?

If you're into JC, John Carpenter not Jesus Christ, then I would check this out. If you're not, you could pass on it and still lead a good life.

Ghosts of Mars
(2001) [Full Movie]
Director: John Carpenter (IMDB)

Synopsis: In the future, we run shit on Mars, but one colony soon finds out that they're not alone on the planet. When the police show up to capture Ice Cube, they get into a lot more then they bargained for.

Sadly, this movie didn't really do a lot for me. Like Vampires, the dialog and acting aren't impressive. The score is the worst of any Carpenter film (which always have killer scores) or any other film for that matter. Also the fight scenes seem extremely slow and overly choreographed.

I did enjoy the set pieces and the overall futuristic look of Mars. The bad guys looked freaky and the buzz saw thingys they threw resulted in some amazing kill shots.

Dario Argento Double Feature: Deep Red and Suspiria

As stated in my last review of Demons... I'm heading into a double hitter of Dario Argento's films. I've only seen one of his movies, Inferno, which I liked, but I think Deep Red and Suspiria are generally considered better films, so I thought it was time to school myself.

Deep Red
(1975) [Full Movie]
Director: Dario Argento (IMDB)

Synopsis: A man witnesses the murder of his psychic neighbor which sends him into investigator mode as he tries to figure out who the killer is.

There are lots of things in this film that I really love.

#1: The soundtrack. It's awesome. It's not actually scary, but funky. It'd be good at a party to get down too... or... cut a rug too.

#2: The cinematography. This might be one of the prettiest horror movies ever.

#3: The reference in the film to this picture.

#4: The creepy ass toys and also that extremely scary puppet.. holy shit... the arm hairs stood up a little when that bastard came prancing across the screen.

#5 The pictures in the hallway... I want to own one. Talk about fine art.

I also enjoyed David Hemmings, who I dug in Blow-Up, but haven't seen in another movie since.

I don't know man... there's not a lot here that I didn't like, the pacing of the second half felt a little off at times, and there was one plot hole I noticed, but other then that it's perfect.

Suspiria
(1977) [Trailer]
Director: Dario Argento (IMDB)

Synopsis: A dancer enrolls into a ballet academy and realizes that her stay is about to get crazy as all is not what it seems.

This movie is definitely a mind fuck and I wouldn't recommened watching it on hallucinogenic drugs. Its not as gory as Deep Red but more weird and artful. It's main source of horror, for me, was provided through the use of sound and cinematography.

First the sound. I would recommend using headphones with this movie. I watched the first half of the film without them and had to constantly adjust the volume between the music and the dialog. The second half I watched with headphones on and it was intense. The score is extremely eerie and I think it's mixed loudly to make more of an impact. It helps ramp up the tension of the film and makes for a unique viewing experience.

Second the visuals. The cinematography in this is just as amazing as Deep Red. It's lends itself to an odd nightmarish state where nothing seems real, this is achieved through the use of bizarre lighting and a set piece (the school itself) that's unlike any thing I've seen in cinema. The closest comparisons I can think of might be Twin Peaks or The Shining.

The plot isn't ground breaking and like Deep Red I felt it had a few pacing issues, but nothing that came even close to ruining it. Again, another must watch for horror fans, especially if you like art house stuff and horror combined.